Team Work

Twins are great at working together.  I have witnessed our twins work together several times in the past few weeks and I think it is great, however, it translates to "double trouble" most of the time.  For example, getting into the bathroom, opening the toilet lid and playing in the water, trouble.  Finding the tupperware and pots/pans cabinet and pulling everything out of it, trouble.  Discovering big brother's crayons and testing them out in the playroom, trouble.  Boosting one another up to reach the T.V., trouble.  It can be sweet too though.  William likes to help Olivia get up into the recliner by giving her a boost and pushing her little booty as she climbs up.  Today, William opened the pantry and got out the raisins.  Olivia helped him pry it open and they helped themselves to a little snack.  This is much cuter than finding the Cheerios all over the kitchen because the box has been dumped upside down.  So there's that.  I actually look forward to seeing what they will try next (I know, I'll be eating my words one day soon!) and how they will discover and problem solve together.

Kindergarten, here we come!

My oldest starts kindergarten in two days.  I have mixed feelings about it.  I have been frantically running around checking things off of the school supply list, purchasing school uniforms, pinning "lunch ideas" for his daily lunches, filling in the family calendar with event and PTO dates, and wondering if he'll be okay without me!  Of course he will be...right?


Will he be able to make it to the restroom in time?  Will he be able to get his belt undone and refastened without incident (we've been practicing, but is it enough?)? Will he be too shy to talk to his teacher?  Will he make friends right away?  Will he be brave enough to stand up for what is right when others are not making good choices?  Will he be negatively influenced by his peers?  Will he remember to use good manners and be kind?  Will he work hard?  Will he be challenged or bored?  Will he miss me as much as I will be missing him each day?  Will he be okay? Oh, the struggle is real!


He is excited about making new friends but anxious about the unknown.  He is excited one minute about the idea of school and nervous about leaving me each day and beging me to homeschool him the next. 
He doesn't do well with goodbyes.  My fear is that he will cling to me and not want to let go and walk in like a big boy on that first day.  I can envision the scene. It isn't pretty.  I can only hope that after seeing that a friend from his preschool days is in his class that he will be okay with "letting go."  His teacher is sweet.  Soft spoken and gentle but a teacher we can trust will take care of him and help shape him.  She will continue to encourage his curiosity and foster his love of learning.  He was enthusiastic about school starting when we left the "Meet the Teacher" event this evening.  I know the anxious feelings and doubts will return tomorrow evening as we lay out his clothes and get his backpack ready for the big day.  I will be prayerful that things go well and we don't have any emotional fits on Wednesday morning...from either of us! He is going to do great things and touch many lives.  As his mom, I have to share him with the world so that others may experience the pure joy that I do while in his presence.  He WILL be fine.  I will be fine. Well, maybe in a few days. :)


His "First Day of Kindergarten" sign is ready to go.  My camera will be on hand.  Social media will be inundated with posts about my baby's first day of kindergarten, as I will proudly post his picture for all to see.  I will fill out the many forms that will be sent home on the first day, I will gladly volunteer to help out as much as possible, and I will try really hard to hold back my tears until he is out of sight, because let's face it, there will be tears. 


In the meantime, I will continue to lift him, his teacher, and the school staff up in prayer as they get ready for a great school year. 

Heavenly Father,
As our children go out to face the world, please bless and protect them. May they know and trust that even when they are away from their parents that you, their Heavenly Father is always with them. Whether our children are just starting kindergarten, entering high school, or leaving the nest for college, our hearts and hopes go with them. They are excited about all of the new possibilities, yet at the same time apprehension and the fear of the unknown may weigh heavily on their hearts. Strengthen them by filling them with your love and giving them the confidence to face each challenge with inquisitive minds and discerning hearts. May they persevere through every obstacle that they face, knowing that we must learn from our failures so that we may grow in both knowledge and faith. Bless our children with lives filled with happiness and laughter, and may they be joyful in all things. Surround them with friends, teachers and adults that will lovingly stay by their side, build them up when they are weak, and hold them accountable when they wander from your ways. For we all know, that through you all things are possible. You are our Savior and protector, you fill our lives with blessings and you have an amazing plan for each and every one of your children.

In your name we pray, Amen.
(Prayer written by Lisa Russell; sweet friend and teacher)

Black and White

When I was in kindergarten, I came home the first week of school and told my mom that I had a best friend in my class.  I told her the friend's name and she asked which one she was so she could meet her  and we could invite her over for playdates (my mom worked at the school I went to and was familiar with the kids).  I described her as "the one with braids."  I spoke of the way we played together at recess and sat together at lunch.  I described the kind of person she was and I never once mentioned skin color.  My mom put two and two together and to this day comments on how heart warming it was to her that I didn't see her as the "black girl," but as my best friend.  Racism and prejudice is taught folks. 
This past week, I shared a post from a woman who's white daughter carries around a black baby doll.  I shared it because I was appalled at the ignorance of people she encountered while out with her daughter at the store from another white person.  This person couldn't believe that she'd allow her daughter to have a doll with a different skin color than her own.  My own daughter plays with several dolls of many colors in her nursery school class and I love it.  When she has the opportunity to pick out her own baby doll, I'm not going to care what the doll looks like but I will teach her to take care of it and love it.  I will nurture her love of babies, regardless of color.
 I LOVE that as children, color is not what defines a person or how they are treated.  I don't want my children to see skin color, I want them to see people.  To love unconditionally the people they encounter.  To look for the good in others and not make assumptions about someone based on appearance.  Adults influence children.  Stop trying so hard to teach racism and start focusing on teaching acceptance and Godly love.  This world we live in is ugly enough.  I can't even watch the news anymore without crying at the stories of hate, murder, abandonment, neglect, etc. 
Train UP your children and stop trying to bring everyone else down.  Pray for them relentlessly.  Pray that they treat others with kindness and love, that they are considerate and respectful of others.  Pray that they have compassion and guide them so that they may find the good in people.  Don't teach them to generalize or condemn a group/race based on the actions of a few.  Be a good example.

Our oldest starts Kindergarten in a couple weeks and I worry that he will be influenced by others in a negative way as he gets older.  I also know that by continually loving on him and having conversations about how we treat others, I can help foster his innocence and unconditional love for everyone.  "Treat others the way you want to be treated."  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." 

So, I married an Army Man...

I'll start by saying that I am a "kick my shoes off as I walk in the door" kind of gal.  My purse is set down anywhere there is an open spot on the floor, the table, or kitchen counter if that is what is convenient for me as I haul things into the house.  Remember, I have three kids in tow.
I'm the queen of piles.  It is not uncommon for piles to be moved around or "organized" by being placed into more piles.  As I declutter, it gets worse before it gets better.  In the end though, I'm pretty good about purging and organizing.  I just need to figure out how to make it last. LOL! I love the saying, "My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it."  I actually had a wooden sign hanging on my door with this quote in college.  I have found that with three little ones running around and playing hard from dawn to dusk, it is even harder to keep things in order.  I don't mind my "lived in look" but hubby has another opinion about it.
Hubby is an "Everything has a place, and there is a place for everything" kind of guy.  Yea, so there are some struggles with all of the rearranging and organizing that is going on right now.  We recently got a storage unit to move some of the "excess" out that isn't currently being used but will eventually as the twins get older.  We also plan to put our current house on the market, as we have began to feel like we are outgrowing our current house.  As I clear off shelves, go through my piles, and get rid of things we've outgrown or no longer have a need for, this house is starting to feel different.  In my mind, I want that model home look with all toys and kid related items contained in bedrooms and/or the playroom.  Let's get real though, the kids are like free range chickens and take their things and dump them wherever they want.  Which means a trail of toys, blankets, sippy cups, and books follow them in every nook and cranny of our home.  I'm okay with it, because at the end of the day, I'm the one gathering everything up and putting it all back in the playroom or wherever these things belong.  However, it drives hubby nuts!  So on of my new challenges is to train the kids to keep all toys and books in the playroom, all cups in the kitchen, and all blankets in the bedrooms.  In the meantime, I'll frantically run around the house just before hubby gets home everyday and gather as much as I can and make the house look more "presentable" to Mr. Army. LOL!  Wish me luck! XOXO

I am THAT mom at the pool...

News Flash:  pregnancies (especially twin pregnancies) bring on stretch marks and C-Section scars are not sexy.  Abs?  What abs?

Okay, so earlier this week I posted on social media that I was not sure whether or not I'd let others judge me in a swim suit for a birthday pool party we've been invited to today.  I had some very encouraging responses to that post.  People telling me that I look great and should rock the suit without worry about what others think of my post pregnancy body.  I had several (even my wonderful mom) point out that a size 2 has nothing to hide.  Here is the thing, even size two women have things they would like to change about themselves.  We too have things we are self conscious of.  This may be a surprise to some, but I am very self conscious of how I look since having our twins. Having grown up playing soccer and then later coaching, I was always pretty fit, or at least in decent physical shape.  The truth is, I haven't worked out since getting pregnant the first time in 2008 when our infertility journey started.  I jiggle in places I never did before.  I don't have the toned legs that got me attention in my teens or the butt that got recognized in a tight pair of jeans in my twenties. My boobs sag.  I'm ghostly white. I still have freckles that I prayed would disappear by the time I hit my thirties.  I will look sickly for lack of make-up (maybe I'll paint in my eyebrows and opt for waterproof mascara so as to not scare the other kids) due to my complexion and propensity to wear sun hats when I go outdoors.  Never mind that I haven't invested in a new swimsuit since we had our oldest, who is now 5.  Pardon the outdated but hardly worn suit if you happen to be in attendance.

I have decided that I WILL wear a swimsuit and participate in the fun with my kids today at the party.  My husband and I will each take a twin in the pool while monitoring our five year old as he conquers his fear of swimming underwater. 

I won't be the most confident woman by any means.  I will still be self conscious.  I will garner attention from others for things completely opposite of what got me attention prior to motherhood.  You've been warned!

WARNING:

I look better with my clothes on.

I will be that mom at the pool with crazy tan lines from time spent outside with my  kids to enjoy our sandbox and backyard or the splash pad in shorts and a t-shirt.

I will be that mom at the pool with a little jiggle in her steps.

I will be that mom at the pool who lathers herself and her kids in sunblock because our red hair and pale skin warrants the use of SPF 50, hats, and rash shirts.

I will be that mom at the pool that has jacked up toe nails because she hasn't had a pedicure in almost two years.

I will be that mom at the pool who is constantly adjusting her suit to make sure she is covered as much as possible.  Things tend to pop out of place these days.

I will be that mom at the pool who is trying not to make eye contact for fear of the judgmental stares that are sure to be reflecting back at me.

I will be that mom at the pool who wraps a towel around herself as soon as she steps out of the pool in hopes that no one sees me then rushes in the house to the nearest bathroom to put my clothes back on.  Because lets face it, I look better with my clothes on.

Headbangers...and not to music

So my twins are self made head bangers.  They both bang their heads on purpose.  Sometimes out of frustration because they aren't getting their way, or to rhythmically sooth themselves. O bangs her head on the floor when she is annoyed by one of her brothers or over tired.  W bangs his head on doors and walls when he wants someone or something on the other side of them. If we make a big deal out of it and repeatedly tell him, "No bonk-bonk," he does it repeatedly because he realizes he has our attention. 

I heard that this isn't uncommon.  I also heard that only about 20% of children do this.  Somehow, even with those odds, I have TWO.  I hope that once they become verbal, this will end.  I pray that this is just a phase.  They have both had bruises due to this habit.  I promise you all they are self inflicted.  I hope this isn't a sign of what their temper tantrums will be like in the future.  Lord help us if this is minor in comparison of what is to come!  Should I go ahead and invest in buckets or helmets now?

Nosy

So I have a very nosy child.  My oldest wants to know everyone's business.  He is constantly worried about what our  neighbors are doing and where they are going.  He also concerns him self with complete strangers.  Sometimes I laugh it off.  Sometimes I cringe.  Sometimes I secretly appreciate that he asks questions I want to ask but don't because it is socially unacceptable...

In most cases, it is innocent. ("What are you doing?"  "Where are you going?"  "Who are you on the phone with?" "Are we there yet?" and "Are you going pee or poo?")

A lot of the time, it is because he is naturally inquisitive.  ("Why is the sky blue?" type of questions.)

Sometimes, it can be inappropriate; read-asked loudly and in public for all to hear ("Why is that man fat?") or open up the doors to serious conversations ("Why is that girl bald?").

I do understand that he is curious.  I know that I need to continue to have conversations with him about this while he is young so that it doesn't become a bad habit later causing him to snoop and eavesdrop so that he feels like he is always "in the know."  Hubby and I are working on defining the boundaries that will prevent him from becoming a pest as he gets older in his desire to know what everyone is up to at any given time.  This includes teaching him proper etiquette when trying to be included in a conversation, such as saying "excuse me" if he has something to say while we are talking, and waiting his turn to speak.  We are teaching him that sometimes, people want to keep things private and he needs to accept that he doesn't need to know everything, especially if it does not pertain to him.  He will be informed and "in the know" if it does in fact impact him in some way.  He is learning that there are also consequences to being nosy and eavesdropping on people.  He is learning to knock and wait for permission to enter our room if the door is closed. 

Another thing that we are trying to teach him, is that sharing other people's business can be inappropriate too.  This is SO hard.  Teaching a five year old when it is okay to share the things he knows versus when it is not his information to share can be tricky.  We want him to know that if someone is in danger, hurting themselves, etc. then he MUST share with us what he knows.  If the "tattling" or sharing of other people's business is just meant to be hurtful to them or doesn't help in some way, then it isn't necessary and should be kept to himself.

He is very intuitive too.  There have been times that my mom and I, or hubby and I are having a conversation and he seems to be in his own little world but he is in fact paying attention.  He will chime in with his "two cents." Or repeat something we said hours or even days later.  He seems to know when we are having serious conversations and pretends to be preoccupied when he is in fact paying very close attention.  We are more cautious now about what we discuss in his presence. Serious matters are discussed behind closed doors (thus the need to teach him to knock and wait for permission to enter our room).

I don't want to discourage him from asking the right kind of questions and learning new things.  He is a child who needs answers. He wants to know more about things.  I love to see him light up when he discovers things through inferencing /questioning and his natural ability to use higher level thinking. I am working on finding that balance.  Ask questions about the world around you, but not so many about the people... LOL!  The struggle is real you guys!  What do you do when/if your child asks too many questions about others?

Summer 2015 Bucket List

We have the honor of having our kid's second cousin several days per week this summer.  I decided to make sure boredom won't ensue for the older boys by creating a "Bucket List" with them (3C is 5, D is 7).

In addition to these activities on the list, we will go to the library every other week and work on reading and math skills (being a teacher, it can't be avoided under my roof! Sorry boys! LOL!).

The boy's started the summer with a "Game Day."  Up next, the Train Park and a picnic.  Stay tuned for our "Camp Carlyle" adventures! We will color in the boxes as we check things off of the list...

We will spend a lot of time in the backyard and the boys love playing Legos and creating their own games and activities with 3C's toys.  They play very well together and my heart is happy to see the boys getting a chance to grow up together and be great friends.  Having a chance to grow up with and have a close relationship with your cousins is so important. 

Beach Fun!

Grammy and I braved the beach with the twins and big brother this week.  We weren't sure how the twins would react to the endless sand and sea.  Big brother was excited for days and asked relentlessly the whole drive down to Surfside Beach (every ten minutes), "Are we there yet?" Sister doesn't do well in the car and whined and cried most of the way.  Little brother slept, as he usually does in the car, almost the entire hour and a half drive. 

Once we arrived, we unloaded the car-wagon, multiple towels, sand toys, coolers, etc. and got everyone changed at our friend's beach house. We are so grateful for this invite for a day at the beach with other families of multiples.  I believe there were five sets of twins and a set of triplets; I stopped counting mid day.  Once everyone was changed and lotioned up, we made our way across the footbridge to the beach. 

The first thing little brother did when set down was grab a fistful of sand and eat it! LOL!  He continued to eat sand throughout the day in spite of our "No! No!s" He had gritty poop for a couple days.

Sister on the other hand was content to just walk around and feel the sand between her toes.

 

Big brother didn't hesitate for a minute and ran full speed into the Gulf! He didn't get out until it was time to head back to the beach house for lunch. He worked up quite an appetite jumping waves, running around, and looking for seashells. 

 

 

Overall, I'd say we had a very successful day.  I look forward to many more trips to the beach with our kids.

The Game Changing Words..."I Love You."

As I was updating my calendar this evening and making a list of things that I need to do tomorrow, May 3rd, I realized that in one month, it will be the 8th anniversary of the day my husband told me he was falling in love with me. We'd only been dating a month and a half at that point and he was very worried that he would scare me off.  In fact, that is how he started the conversation; voicing his concern over whether or not I'd feel things were moving too fast.  I remember the whole conversation as if it were yesterday. 

I was in Henderson, Texas with my best friend and her family awaiting the nuptials of her sister-in-law.  It also happened to be said BFF's birthday so celebrations were in full swing.  I went along to help watch her kids for the weekend so she and her husband could enjoy the festivities without having to worry about the littles and the kids wouldn't have to spend a lot of time at the church/reception.  We stayed in a guest home above a garage and while the kids were napping I answered "the phone call."  The one that would set things spinning in a new direction in our relationship as a couple.  I could tell with the tone of his voice that something was on his mind.  It was actually kind of cute to listen to him try to express himself and his feelings. I knew then that this was not something he did readily or with just anyone.  I also knew that he needed to do it in his own way so I didn't press him.  We talked about many things before he finally got brave enough to "spit it out."  He tentatively told me that he had fallen in love with me.  He didn't understand it yet, but he knew he missed me and couldn't stop thinking about me getting back home so he could see me.  He was overwhelmed by how often he thought of me.  Rest assured, I let him know that the feeling was mutual and he immediately relaxed.  His tone became more laid back and playful.  He could tell that I was not in fact going to run for the hills and block his number or move so he couldn't locate me. Ha! 

This conversation didn't end there though.  It was then that we had our very first "real" and "courageous" conversation.  Having already openly discussed our past relationships I wanted to make sure that he was 100% ready to move forward in our relationship and was committed to it.  It was then that I bravely asked him to go to his ex-wife to make sure nothing was still there.  He was speechless for a minute.  I actually thought the call was dropped and asked if he was still on the line.  He was surprised that I would encourage him to talk to her about me.  They had been apart for a long time and divorced for several years, but they have kids together and I did not want to get in the way of things if there was a chance that things could be mended.  I also knew that this woman would be a part of our lives and that it would be important to have an amicable relationship.  I didn't know a lot about her and hadn't met her yet in person.  I'd only received a voicemail from her after our first date which indicated to me that she was A) a determined detective to have gotten my cell phone number to leave said vm considering I'd only known him for three days, and B) still holding on to some hope and sure that I was wasting my time.  I didn't blame her then and don't now, because let's be honest, what woman doesn't hold on to a little hope that things will work out with an ex?  I didn't know what would come of our meeting or how we would handle different situations when it came to her children and what co-parenting would look like with their son who was still in school if he and I did decide to move forward in our relationship.  He agreed to talk to her if things continued to get serious with us and did within the month.  I still get two different stories of how that conversation went...but one thing was and is clear, there is NO hope that they will ever "work things out" or have an amicable relationship.   Shortly after this, I went out of the country for two weeks.  It was then that it was decided that we couldn't be without one another and after three and a half months of dating, he proposed (spoiler alert: I said yes!).

So I made it my mission to be the bigger person and make things work between his ex and us.  So far, I think I've earned a gold star.  I always did (and still do) everything I can to encourage a healthy relationship with his older kids.  I try to attend as much as possible with them.  We attended his eldest son's soccer games regularly and even had him live with us when he requested it without hesitation.  He probably still resents me for being the "involved parent" by contacting his teachers and staying on top of things but I don't regret it. I still hold on to hope that he'll realize I did so much for him out of love and come back to thank me one day.  I have had to endure a lot and have heard a lot of negative and more often than not, been the go-between.  I have taken the brunt of the hateful comments and derogatory remarks.  I've learned to ignore the dirty looks from "that side of the family" as if I am the cause of their divorce or the "evil step-mother" when we have occasions to get together with his now grown kids. But at the end of the day, I am still very much in love with my husband and through it all, we have gotten closer and grown so much.  We have been blessed in so many ways that all of that seems so small.  It is just a drop in the bucket compared to positive and wonderful things that have happened for us since that first "I love you."

We have gone through three rounds of fertility treatments, each with a different outcome.  We have three beautiful children that are the joy of my life.  We have overcome every obstacle and far surpassed anyone's prediction of how long we'd last.  I could blog pages and pages worth of the blessings and positive things that have happened for us over the past eight years.  We continue to fall in love with each other everyday.  My heart still flutters when he walks in the room. I anxiously wait for him to get home from work each day.  He constantly does things that remind me of why I fell in love with him in the first place.  He surprises me in new ways that make me fall deeper in love with him.  We have become each other's rock.  We rely on each other in so many ways and never hesitate to discuss things on our mind/hearts.  He is a doting dad and dedicated husband.  I am so glad he found the courage to tell me that he loves me on June 3, 2007. :) For the rest of forever my love...

Boys to Men

As I witnessed my oldest redirect his baby brother today, I realized that he is on his way to learning how to be a daddy one day.  Just last week, he was "playing house" at church and rocking a baby doll to sleep.  I am okay with this.  I think boys should play house, have an opportunity to be creative with a play kitchen, and have toy vacuum cleaners/brooms.  We will continue to foster his nurturing side so that he will be confident in his ability to be a great husband and to raise his own children one day.

We are responsible for turning two boys into men.  My  husband and I will be teaching them how to be great husbands and fathers.  My husband is a great example.  I am blessed to have a husband that shows affection generously and openly everyday, not only to me, but to our children.  He works hard and does everything he can to make sure we are able to live comfortably and want for nothing.  He also makes sure that we live within our means and never allows us to stretch ourselves too thin financially, emotionally, or psychologically.  He is our protector, provider, and cheerleader.  He is a devoted husband and caring father that is actively involved in our kids lives.  He is an excellent role model who shows them gentlemanly behavior daily.  He opens doors for me, carries the heavy bags of groceries in, and takes care of mundane household tasks like taking out the trash and mowing the lawn (chivalry is not dead ladies; lets not let it die out!).  Hubby also shares his love of cooking and takes our oldest grocery shopping regularly.  Our son knows that these tasks are not "just a woman's role." My husband prays with our oldest every night when he tucks him in.  This teaches him to fear God, to be thankful of every blessing, and to build a culture of prayer in the home. He leads by example. He is fostering the boys' love of building things and tearing things down, the use of tools, and exploration of all things nature (tonight, they watched ants eat a dead earthworm...).

We will teach all of our kids the importance of supporting each other, lifting each other up, praising others, forgiving others, and accepting differences.  They will learn that it is okay to make mistakes and to learn from them.  They will be encouraged to give 100% in everything they do and not back out of things they've committed to; not to give up when things get hard.  They will learn about integrity, honesty, and the meaning of being a true friend.  They will know how to express themselves in words, that showing emotion is okay, and that life can be hard but also wonderful. 

Our kids are learning how to be nurturing, forgiving, responsible, generous, and loving.  The use of good manners aren't just taught, but expected.  Nothing less will be tolerated.  We want them to be second nature and happen automatically.  Being thoughtful and considerate of others is so important in life.  They will be much more successful and respected.  I think encouraging them to be among the "good guys" and teaching them these values will ensure they will do the same for their own children.  It is a part of our parental legacy.   

Life Changer?

Complaining on Social Media changed my life! 
If you are reading this right now, you are probably asking yourself, "How can complaining be a good thing?"  Well, I made a post about my twins being ill, again.  Congestion was keeping them both from sleeping, which in turn, kept me from sleeping.  They seemed to go in shifts, so I got very little sleep between soothing babies and wanting to cry and pull my hair out simultaneously.  Several friends read my distress and reached out to me with the same question, "Have you ever considered using essential oils?"  My response was something along the lines of, "I'll try ANYTHING! Please help!"  They were all so patient with me.  One fellow twin mom whipped up some blends in roller bottles for me, another suggested investing in a diffuser.  My cousin mixed up some creams and bath products for me immediately.  These friends saved my life that week and I have never looked back.  I started experimenting with several oils and tried a few different blends.  I can honestly say that the use of any essential oils will have me celebrating you, as they are so much better than medicating our children with drugs! I have nothing bad to say about any brand but I will encourage anyone I talk to with medical/health concerns to try essential oils, as there is an oil for EVERYTHING.  I am leaning new ways to use my oils everyday.

I recently purchased the Premium Starter Kit from Young Living and am now officially obsessed.  I diffuse in the nursery nightly and during nap time.  The twins are sleeping 11-12 hours each night and nap like champions.  My husband attached a roller ball to Stress Away and keeps it on his desk at work.  He regularly uses Peppermint for headaches and I have made the Allergy Trio (Peppermint, Lavender, and Lemon) diluted with Grapeseed Oil for our four year old.  He is no longer taking daily allergy medicine.  Whoa!

Last week, Cameron got attacked by mosquitos while playing outside at his grandparent's house.  His face was so swollen that he was not recognizable.  I put some coconut oil and lavender in my hand and mixed it up in my palms then applied it to his face.  Check this out:

This week alone, I made a bath salt detox, bug spray, diaper cream, and massage lotion.  I already have a long wish list of oils that I'd like to try next!  It won't be long until our medicine cabinet is completely reinvented and is stocked only with oils and homemade remedies using our essential oils.  If you have any favorite recipes, feel free to share in the comments!  How do you use your Everyday Oils? 

Disclaimer: I just signed up to be a distributor for YL, but am not in it to make a million! This was not meant to be a sales pitch, but a testimony. I just want to share my experiences with others and encourage others to try oils with their families.  Plus, it will give me a chance to earn free oils and who doesn't love free? If you would like more information, I'd be happy to help.  I am learning more everyday and would like to help you discover what is best for your family as well.

You may also visit youngliving.com My member number is #2691535  Feel free to email me at carlylecassandra@gmail.com

The twins are ONE!!

We recently celebrated our twins' first birthday with family.  We went with what was probably the "obvious" boy/girl twin theme; Mickey and Minnie Mouse.  :)  The twins wore personalized onesies and I decorated the living room and their high chairs.  We did the traditional smash cake photo session and captured pictures of them doing what they do best, being themselves.  William was off in one direction, while Olivia was dancing to the beat of her own drum.  Here are a few photos from their photo session:

Did I blink?

Where has the time gone?  The twins will be one next month and we'll have a five year old the following month.  I can't believe how fast this year has gone.  We've had our ups and downs but I wouldn't trade it for the world.  We got through the "adjustment period" with our oldest when the twins came  home and now he is very protective and in love with them.  They LOVE playing with him and crawling after him and their giggles are contagious when doing so.  We've survived illnesses (hand/foot/mouth, strep throat, common colds (x6), and are currently teething.  I thought one child teething was rough...ha!  Two teething babies at once are a true test.  I successfully nursed the twins for ten months and they are self feeding more table foods each week.  William is a GOOD eater like his big brother and will be eating us out of house and home (I can't imagine their teenage years).  Olivia would rather be fed by spoon and doesn't like to get her hands dirty.  Both W & O are walking assisted with walking toys and "monkey walk" along the couch.  They stand unassisted and are getting stronger everyday.  Cameron cannot wait to have them chasing after him around the house.  He is very encouraging of them as they traipse across the living room floor with their push toy. 
I am currently planning their first birthday party (Mickey/Minnie theme) and look forward to their photo session and cake smash next weekend to kick off the celebrations.  Cameron is anxious to have his "Racecar" party in April and is excited to start school in the fall.  He is most excited about nap times becoming optional though. :)
Robert continues to work hard to provide for us and I am so appreciative of him and proud of his successes.  I never thought being a stay at home mom would be an option for me.  We are successfully living within our means and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
This is just a quick update on us, as it has been ages since I last posted.  I hope each of you reading this is doing well.  Love and well wishes for each of you! XO

My BF days will soon be over for ever...

My twins are gradually weaning themselves from breastfeeding and it is bitter sweet.  I am both excited and a little bit sad.  I can't wait to have my boobs back but I know I'll never breastfeed a baby again.  So yes, I'm torn, but I will focus on the POSITIVE!

Baby girl has shown more of a disinterest lately than baby boy.  She would much rather a bottle (whether expressed breast milk or formula) whereas he prefers the breast over bottles right now and rarely takes to or finished formula.  She nurses two times a day while he nurses three.  This is significantly less than in previous months.  Now that they are eating a lot more they aren't requiring as much mama milk and therefor I'm never engorged or uncomfortable anymore (yay!). I will miss the cuddle time and intimacy of it but will continue to bond with them regardless so I feel no guilt.  I have provided so much for them through my breast milk in these past ten months and have enough frozen to last several weeks.  I will make sure they continue to get nutrient rich foods and formulas have come a long way so I know they will continue to get what they need regardless of whether it is directly form me or not.

I will however miss the fact that I burn calories (500+ per day) so easily while nursing and have to pay more attention to my calorie intake (boo!).  Maybe that gym membership will finally get put to good use...

A few positive reasons to continue to allow the twins to wean on their own:

1. My boobs will belong to me again!  I might even go out and buy new bras to celebrate.  I'm so ready to toss the nursing bras for good (can you say "unattractive?").  New shirts might be in order too.

2.  The twins (me too) are sleeping through the night now because we are giving them formula each evening before bed.

3.  I can have a girl's night (or date night) and drink wine/beer without wondering how much it is effecting my mama milk.

4.  I won't get my nipples caught between the vice grips known as teeth!  OUCH!
(Sorry, I couldn't exclude that one!)

5.  Making bottles is so much more convenient because not only can I take formula/bottles with me on the go, but others can help feed the twins!

Here, there, and everywhere...

When we had our twins, it was like that "New Car Phenomenon" where you all of a sudden spot your exact car make/model EVERYWHERE you go.  Seriously, every time I've purchased a new car, as I leave the lot, I see the same car and almost always the same color every where I go.  When I bought my Honda Civic Coupe I didn't know anyone who owned one...or so I thought.  Same phenomenon with my current car, a Chevy Traverse.  I see them every single time I am out and about and usually the same color as mine.  Does anyone else experience this?

Since having our twins, we experience the same thing.  Every where we go, we see other sets of twins/multiples.  I'm not just talking about when I intentionally get together with other families from my parent's of Multiples support groups.  I took our kids to the zoo last month, and it seemed we ran into other sets of twins at every turn.  I go to the mall, twins are being chauffeured in various double strollers in every direction.  Every one seems to know someone who has twins, is a twin, or is a distant relative of twins.  You'd be surprised at how many of these stories I've been told by complete strangers.

Now, there are still occasions where we go into a store and are treated as celebrities.  The "Oohs" and "Ahhs" are a constant. The comments of how full my hands are and how blessed I am happen every time we leave the house.  THAT will never get old.  Who doesn't love to have people admire their precious babies? 

I will say on behalf of ALL parents of multiples that what DOES get old, is the inappropriate and nosey questions that some STRANGERS feel entitled to ask.  Excuse me, but who are you to ask me if I struggled with infertility?  Who are you to ask if my babies are "Clo-med" babies?  Whaaaa? And, YES, they are natural.  Aren't all babies?  My twins aren't made out of plastic and stuffed with cotton for crying out loud.  One more thing, who was the science teacher that has you asking if my BOY/GIRL twins are identical?  Hmmm....

Ask any parent of multiples about the things they've heard and I'm sure they can give you a list of no fewer than 10 bizarre things they have been asked/told/commented on in regards to their babies.  If you are one of these parents, I'd love to hear from you in the comments section of this post! 

A Reason? A Season? A Lifetime?

I recently had a conversation with a friend that really forced me to dig deep emotionally and accept that some people really do enter our lives for a reason, some for a season, and a select few for a lifetime.  This particular person has been a friend since preschool.  We have had our ups and downs and even went several years at a time without talking or seeing each other.  We have been in and out of each other lives for going on 33 years now.  During different life stages and events in each of our lives we've touched base, gotten caught up, and have "checked in" on one another.  We both know that at the end of the day, we can always count on each other.  We have proven this to each other time and time again.  As we celebrated this about our friendship, we started talking about other relationships in each of our lives that have both lifted us up, and disappointed us.  We both admit that it is hard to accept that you've gone out of your way to help others and support them through certain life events, but when you need the support or help, those same people are silent, make excuses, or are no longer available or interested in you and your life events/stage.

The thing I find hard to accept is that I was "there" for others, helped raise their kids, and supported them through rough times, even taking them into my home if necessary to see them through their troubled times, and being their "wing man" as they searched for their significant others night after night and in hindsight wonder if I was just being used.  Was I a friend of convenience?  Was I placed in their lives for that reason?  Was I just meant to be there for their season of strife?  Or to them, was I simply their single friend with "no other obligations?" I saw them through bad relationships and beak ups.  I supported them through their times of joy and celebration.  I helped them when their kids were little.  I attended their functions.  I went to recitals and games for their kids... The whole of my twenties was about other people and their families.

Then at 29, I finally met my Prince.  It was my turn to get married and have a family.  I got down the aisle, said "I do" and they said, "See ya later!"   Our first year was rough.  We suffered the loss of a baby after months of fertility treatment (miscarriage at 10 weeks) and fought over whether we should try again.  It almost broke us.  We weren't sure we could handle another loss. It was the most emotional year of my life.  We took in my step son who resented me for being concerned for his success and staying active in his education and keeping lines of communication open with his teachers and school administrators.  We struggled with our relationship with my husband's ex wife and family, and I was desperately trying to build a relationship with my step daughter all while encouraging my husband to do the same.  Lets just say, it was a rough year.  These "friends" were not around and to this day don't know anything about what my life has been like for the past 8 years.  We were finally blessed with our first son in 2010.  These "friends" were not around.  We had twins in 2014.  These "friends" are not around.  I have "friends" who haven't even met my twins who will be 10 months old next week. They have only seen my (almost five year old) son a couple times at best.

It breaks my heart because these "friends" once meant the world to me (still do if I'm being honest).  I would literally give them the shirt off of my back if they needed it.  The hardest lesson for me to accept is that there are certain people that aren't meant to fit into my life no matter how much I want them to or how much I miss them.  I wonder, do they even know how I feel?  Do they miss me?  Do they even think about me?  Are they reading this and thinking, "Its not me she is referring to."  How do you cut your losses and move on when you feel like these people are taking a piece of you with them when they chose to exit from your life?  Why is it so hard to accept that if someone seriously wants to be a part of your life, they will make an effort to be in it without making excuses? 

I am so very thankful for the few close friends that I know I can count on regardless of age and/or life stages we are in.  I would rather have loyal and true friendships than fake ones that are built simply for convenience.  I pray that the Lord bless me with the discernment to realize the difference and the strength to let go and not look back.

Finding time to blog...

I'll just say it has been waaaaay too long since I last posted a blog.  I have a running list of topics and my mind is always thinking about my next blog post, but then I realize that I'd rather sleep than blog.  Or take a shower.  Or get the much needed chores done (okay, I'd rather blog than do the dishes or fold laundry, but those things aren't going to get done on their own.).  When I first started considering a blog, I thought I'd have all this time on my hands when the twins are sleeping.  Or that once they got to an age that they began to play and entertain themselves, I'd get to blog more.  Ha!  I even thought, hey, maybe I can make money off of blogging and get sponsorship advertisements attached to my blog.  I even searched Pinterest and Google for ways to make money blogging.  I even found a few posts from women claiming it was EASY!  Then you click on their link...and for the low, low price of 39.95, you too can learn the secrets to making money off of your blog posts.  Well, needless to say, I'm not paying anything and I'm not holding my breath for paychecks to start rolling in. 

I am however disappointed in myself for not keeping up with my blog better.  I get ideas all of the time.  Usually in the middle of the night as I lay awake or while nursing.  I plug them into my notes app on my iPhone and tell myself that I'll "make myself" sit down and blog tomorrow night...which becomes "tomorrow night," and so on...Needless to say, It doesn't happen.  I'm actually shocked I'm typing this now.  I did get a shower in this evening (Yay me!) and even loaded the dishwasher.  So I thought, okay, before I crash out, I REALLY need to blog.  I opened up my laptop and sat staring at the log-in screen for ten minutes.  I couldn't even remember my laptop login because it has been so long since I last booted it up.  After several failed attempts to get logged on and half an hour later, I had to have my husband go to our desktop and log in through the Microsoft website and reset our password.  With that being said, it is now past my bedtime.  I'm signing off.  Wish me luck on getting back to blogging tomorrow night.  My list isn't getting any shorter. LOL!