Nosy

So I have a very nosy child.  My oldest wants to know everyone's business.  He is constantly worried about what our  neighbors are doing and where they are going.  He also concerns him self with complete strangers.  Sometimes I laugh it off.  Sometimes I cringe.  Sometimes I secretly appreciate that he asks questions I want to ask but don't because it is socially unacceptable...

In most cases, it is innocent. ("What are you doing?"  "Where are you going?"  "Who are you on the phone with?" "Are we there yet?" and "Are you going pee or poo?")

A lot of the time, it is because he is naturally inquisitive.  ("Why is the sky blue?" type of questions.)

Sometimes, it can be inappropriate; read-asked loudly and in public for all to hear ("Why is that man fat?") or open up the doors to serious conversations ("Why is that girl bald?").

I do understand that he is curious.  I know that I need to continue to have conversations with him about this while he is young so that it doesn't become a bad habit later causing him to snoop and eavesdrop so that he feels like he is always "in the know."  Hubby and I are working on defining the boundaries that will prevent him from becoming a pest as he gets older in his desire to know what everyone is up to at any given time.  This includes teaching him proper etiquette when trying to be included in a conversation, such as saying "excuse me" if he has something to say while we are talking, and waiting his turn to speak.  We are teaching him that sometimes, people want to keep things private and he needs to accept that he doesn't need to know everything, especially if it does not pertain to him.  He will be informed and "in the know" if it does in fact impact him in some way.  He is learning that there are also consequences to being nosy and eavesdropping on people.  He is learning to knock and wait for permission to enter our room if the door is closed. 

Another thing that we are trying to teach him, is that sharing other people's business can be inappropriate too.  This is SO hard.  Teaching a five year old when it is okay to share the things he knows versus when it is not his information to share can be tricky.  We want him to know that if someone is in danger, hurting themselves, etc. then he MUST share with us what he knows.  If the "tattling" or sharing of other people's business is just meant to be hurtful to them or doesn't help in some way, then it isn't necessary and should be kept to himself.

He is very intuitive too.  There have been times that my mom and I, or hubby and I are having a conversation and he seems to be in his own little world but he is in fact paying attention.  He will chime in with his "two cents." Or repeat something we said hours or even days later.  He seems to know when we are having serious conversations and pretends to be preoccupied when he is in fact paying very close attention.  We are more cautious now about what we discuss in his presence. Serious matters are discussed behind closed doors (thus the need to teach him to knock and wait for permission to enter our room).

I don't want to discourage him from asking the right kind of questions and learning new things.  He is a child who needs answers. He wants to know more about things.  I love to see him light up when he discovers things through inferencing /questioning and his natural ability to use higher level thinking. I am working on finding that balance.  Ask questions about the world around you, but not so many about the people... LOL!  The struggle is real you guys!  What do you do when/if your child asks too many questions about others?