Did I blink?

Where has the time gone?  The twins will be one next month and we'll have a five year old the following month.  I can't believe how fast this year has gone.  We've had our ups and downs but I wouldn't trade it for the world.  We got through the "adjustment period" with our oldest when the twins came  home and now he is very protective and in love with them.  They LOVE playing with him and crawling after him and their giggles are contagious when doing so.  We've survived illnesses (hand/foot/mouth, strep throat, common colds (x6), and are currently teething.  I thought one child teething was rough...ha!  Two teething babies at once are a true test.  I successfully nursed the twins for ten months and they are self feeding more table foods each week.  William is a GOOD eater like his big brother and will be eating us out of house and home (I can't imagine their teenage years).  Olivia would rather be fed by spoon and doesn't like to get her hands dirty.  Both W & O are walking assisted with walking toys and "monkey walk" along the couch.  They stand unassisted and are getting stronger everyday.  Cameron cannot wait to have them chasing after him around the house.  He is very encouraging of them as they traipse across the living room floor with their push toy. 
I am currently planning their first birthday party (Mickey/Minnie theme) and look forward to their photo session and cake smash next weekend to kick off the celebrations.  Cameron is anxious to have his "Racecar" party in April and is excited to start school in the fall.  He is most excited about nap times becoming optional though. :)
Robert continues to work hard to provide for us and I am so appreciative of him and proud of his successes.  I never thought being a stay at home mom would be an option for me.  We are successfully living within our means and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
This is just a quick update on us, as it has been ages since I last posted.  I hope each of you reading this is doing well.  Love and well wishes for each of you! XO

My BF days will soon be over for ever...

My twins are gradually weaning themselves from breastfeeding and it is bitter sweet.  I am both excited and a little bit sad.  I can't wait to have my boobs back but I know I'll never breastfeed a baby again.  So yes, I'm torn, but I will focus on the POSITIVE!

Baby girl has shown more of a disinterest lately than baby boy.  She would much rather a bottle (whether expressed breast milk or formula) whereas he prefers the breast over bottles right now and rarely takes to or finished formula.  She nurses two times a day while he nurses three.  This is significantly less than in previous months.  Now that they are eating a lot more they aren't requiring as much mama milk and therefor I'm never engorged or uncomfortable anymore (yay!). I will miss the cuddle time and intimacy of it but will continue to bond with them regardless so I feel no guilt.  I have provided so much for them through my breast milk in these past ten months and have enough frozen to last several weeks.  I will make sure they continue to get nutrient rich foods and formulas have come a long way so I know they will continue to get what they need regardless of whether it is directly form me or not.

I will however miss the fact that I burn calories (500+ per day) so easily while nursing and have to pay more attention to my calorie intake (boo!).  Maybe that gym membership will finally get put to good use...

A few positive reasons to continue to allow the twins to wean on their own:

1. My boobs will belong to me again!  I might even go out and buy new bras to celebrate.  I'm so ready to toss the nursing bras for good (can you say "unattractive?").  New shirts might be in order too.

2.  The twins (me too) are sleeping through the night now because we are giving them formula each evening before bed.

3.  I can have a girl's night (or date night) and drink wine/beer without wondering how much it is effecting my mama milk.

4.  I won't get my nipples caught between the vice grips known as teeth!  OUCH!
(Sorry, I couldn't exclude that one!)

5.  Making bottles is so much more convenient because not only can I take formula/bottles with me on the go, but others can help feed the twins!

Here, there, and everywhere...

When we had our twins, it was like that "New Car Phenomenon" where you all of a sudden spot your exact car make/model EVERYWHERE you go.  Seriously, every time I've purchased a new car, as I leave the lot, I see the same car and almost always the same color every where I go.  When I bought my Honda Civic Coupe I didn't know anyone who owned one...or so I thought.  Same phenomenon with my current car, a Chevy Traverse.  I see them every single time I am out and about and usually the same color as mine.  Does anyone else experience this?

Since having our twins, we experience the same thing.  Every where we go, we see other sets of twins/multiples.  I'm not just talking about when I intentionally get together with other families from my parent's of Multiples support groups.  I took our kids to the zoo last month, and it seemed we ran into other sets of twins at every turn.  I go to the mall, twins are being chauffeured in various double strollers in every direction.  Every one seems to know someone who has twins, is a twin, or is a distant relative of twins.  You'd be surprised at how many of these stories I've been told by complete strangers.

Now, there are still occasions where we go into a store and are treated as celebrities.  The "Oohs" and "Ahhs" are a constant. The comments of how full my hands are and how blessed I am happen every time we leave the house.  THAT will never get old.  Who doesn't love to have people admire their precious babies? 

I will say on behalf of ALL parents of multiples that what DOES get old, is the inappropriate and nosey questions that some STRANGERS feel entitled to ask.  Excuse me, but who are you to ask me if I struggled with infertility?  Who are you to ask if my babies are "Clo-med" babies?  Whaaaa? And, YES, they are natural.  Aren't all babies?  My twins aren't made out of plastic and stuffed with cotton for crying out loud.  One more thing, who was the science teacher that has you asking if my BOY/GIRL twins are identical?  Hmmm....

Ask any parent of multiples about the things they've heard and I'm sure they can give you a list of no fewer than 10 bizarre things they have been asked/told/commented on in regards to their babies.  If you are one of these parents, I'd love to hear from you in the comments section of this post! 

A Reason? A Season? A Lifetime?

I recently had a conversation with a friend that really forced me to dig deep emotionally and accept that some people really do enter our lives for a reason, some for a season, and a select few for a lifetime.  This particular person has been a friend since preschool.  We have had our ups and downs and even went several years at a time without talking or seeing each other.  We have been in and out of each other lives for going on 33 years now.  During different life stages and events in each of our lives we've touched base, gotten caught up, and have "checked in" on one another.  We both know that at the end of the day, we can always count on each other.  We have proven this to each other time and time again.  As we celebrated this about our friendship, we started talking about other relationships in each of our lives that have both lifted us up, and disappointed us.  We both admit that it is hard to accept that you've gone out of your way to help others and support them through certain life events, but when you need the support or help, those same people are silent, make excuses, or are no longer available or interested in you and your life events/stage.

The thing I find hard to accept is that I was "there" for others, helped raise their kids, and supported them through rough times, even taking them into my home if necessary to see them through their troubled times, and being their "wing man" as they searched for their significant others night after night and in hindsight wonder if I was just being used.  Was I a friend of convenience?  Was I placed in their lives for that reason?  Was I just meant to be there for their season of strife?  Or to them, was I simply their single friend with "no other obligations?" I saw them through bad relationships and beak ups.  I supported them through their times of joy and celebration.  I helped them when their kids were little.  I attended their functions.  I went to recitals and games for their kids... The whole of my twenties was about other people and their families.

Then at 29, I finally met my Prince.  It was my turn to get married and have a family.  I got down the aisle, said "I do" and they said, "See ya later!"   Our first year was rough.  We suffered the loss of a baby after months of fertility treatment (miscarriage at 10 weeks) and fought over whether we should try again.  It almost broke us.  We weren't sure we could handle another loss. It was the most emotional year of my life.  We took in my step son who resented me for being concerned for his success and staying active in his education and keeping lines of communication open with his teachers and school administrators.  We struggled with our relationship with my husband's ex wife and family, and I was desperately trying to build a relationship with my step daughter all while encouraging my husband to do the same.  Lets just say, it was a rough year.  These "friends" were not around and to this day don't know anything about what my life has been like for the past 8 years.  We were finally blessed with our first son in 2010.  These "friends" were not around.  We had twins in 2014.  These "friends" are not around.  I have "friends" who haven't even met my twins who will be 10 months old next week. They have only seen my (almost five year old) son a couple times at best.

It breaks my heart because these "friends" once meant the world to me (still do if I'm being honest).  I would literally give them the shirt off of my back if they needed it.  The hardest lesson for me to accept is that there are certain people that aren't meant to fit into my life no matter how much I want them to or how much I miss them.  I wonder, do they even know how I feel?  Do they miss me?  Do they even think about me?  Are they reading this and thinking, "Its not me she is referring to."  How do you cut your losses and move on when you feel like these people are taking a piece of you with them when they chose to exit from your life?  Why is it so hard to accept that if someone seriously wants to be a part of your life, they will make an effort to be in it without making excuses? 

I am so very thankful for the few close friends that I know I can count on regardless of age and/or life stages we are in.  I would rather have loyal and true friendships than fake ones that are built simply for convenience.  I pray that the Lord bless me with the discernment to realize the difference and the strength to let go and not look back.

Finding time to blog...

I'll just say it has been waaaaay too long since I last posted a blog.  I have a running list of topics and my mind is always thinking about my next blog post, but then I realize that I'd rather sleep than blog.  Or take a shower.  Or get the much needed chores done (okay, I'd rather blog than do the dishes or fold laundry, but those things aren't going to get done on their own.).  When I first started considering a blog, I thought I'd have all this time on my hands when the twins are sleeping.  Or that once they got to an age that they began to play and entertain themselves, I'd get to blog more.  Ha!  I even thought, hey, maybe I can make money off of blogging and get sponsorship advertisements attached to my blog.  I even searched Pinterest and Google for ways to make money blogging.  I even found a few posts from women claiming it was EASY!  Then you click on their link...and for the low, low price of 39.95, you too can learn the secrets to making money off of your blog posts.  Well, needless to say, I'm not paying anything and I'm not holding my breath for paychecks to start rolling in. 

I am however disappointed in myself for not keeping up with my blog better.  I get ideas all of the time.  Usually in the middle of the night as I lay awake or while nursing.  I plug them into my notes app on my iPhone and tell myself that I'll "make myself" sit down and blog tomorrow night...which becomes "tomorrow night," and so on...Needless to say, It doesn't happen.  I'm actually shocked I'm typing this now.  I did get a shower in this evening (Yay me!) and even loaded the dishwasher.  So I thought, okay, before I crash out, I REALLY need to blog.  I opened up my laptop and sat staring at the log-in screen for ten minutes.  I couldn't even remember my laptop login because it has been so long since I last booted it up.  After several failed attempts to get logged on and half an hour later, I had to have my husband go to our desktop and log in through the Microsoft website and reset our password.  With that being said, it is now past my bedtime.  I'm signing off.  Wish me luck on getting back to blogging tomorrow night.  My list isn't getting any shorter. LOL!

Learning the ropes!

The twins are now 7 1/2 months old and it has been a while since I've blogged about them and our journey in this crazy life we're living. :)  I have learned a lot in the past month and a half that I thought I'd share a few things with  you all, so here goes:

Do not take family pictures the day after the six month shots.  Four shots each equals very fussy and needy babies.  I don't recommend pictures while one is drooling incessantly due to teething either.  Outfit ruined. It is also IMPOSSIBLE to get three kids to look at the camera at the exact same time.  Forget about getting them all to smile.  Not. Going. To. Happen.  It is also important to know and accept that four year olds no longer have a natural smile when you ask them to smile nicely for the camera.  You will get a cheesy over exaggerated smile every time.  Or they will have their head facing the right direction, but their eyes will be looking at something else entirely.  I have no idea what was more important than family photos that kept drawing my four year old's attention away from the task at hand.  Am I asking too much!?

Stripping babies down to nothing but a diaper is a requirement when introducing food of any kind.  Well, maybe every time you offer food, whether it is new or not.  It is also wise to invest in a tarp to cover any furniture or items of value because food will be a flyin'!  The babies love to "finger paint" with their baby food, smear it on every surface within reach, bathe in it, and blow rasberries for good measure to make sure they've covered a five foot radius from their high chairs.  For good measure, they will rub in in their hair, eyes, and ears.  Just accept that baths will now take place every day and up to three times per day.  Four if a they decide to bless you with a blow out diaper.  Usually right before you want to leave the house...

Speaking of blowouts, one of our darling twins loves to relieve herself while riding in the car.  She has had to have "12 wipe minimum" baths a few times in the past month and be changed completely in the back of the car.  We used to call our bouncer the poop chair, something about the angle and the relaxed state it put them in encouraged BMs EVERY SINGLE TIME they were strapped in.  They aren't fond of the bouncer anymore and our mobile monkey likes to twist himself out of the straps and crawl out anyway so it currently gets used as a part of a blockade to keep said monkey contained in the living room. LOL!

Yes, we have mobile monkeys and they are on the loose from sun up to sun down!  Our lives just became so much more challenging!  Little man is crawling very proficiently and pulls up to stand every chance he gets.  He has only recently figured out how to go back down to his knees (its a process and he still isn't confident in the getting down part).  He crawls over anything and anyone in his way to get to what/who he wants.  I'm talking his sister, a pillow, anything.  Nothing is off limits.  If it is in the way, he will conquer it to get to where he wants to be.  He is TOO brave and I've already determined that he will be the child that makes me go gray way before I should...he will also land us in the E.R. a few times.  I may even have a few near heart attacks due to his bravery and daring feats.  Sister on the other hand continues to be very laid back and tolerates just about everything and everyone around her.  She isn't crawling by traditional means but she low crawls like a champ and is very stealth in her movements.  Blink, and you just might miss it.  She is content to lay and play and is more tolerant of her pesky brother than I would be if I were in her position.  She lets him crawl right over her, doesn't fuss when he snatches her paci right out of her mouth (even when he already has one of his own-he pulls his out and pops hers in),   and isn't bothered by her twin's high pitch cries in the middle of the night. 

Another thing that we have learned and have been in awe of over the past month or so is the "twin-sense" that we've been witnessing isn't only between or twins, but includes or four year old.  We jokingly say we have triplets but one is just four years older than his siblings because we did fertility and they are all from the same "batch."  All three of our kids seem to be in tune with one another.  This will be great down the road when they can all communicate.  Right now, it is stressful at times for the adults because when one is upset/hurt, the others seem to "feel" for the one in distress.  Which means, they might all be crying at the same time or whimpering/whining when only one of them is actually hurt.  Weird right?  If you have any thoughts/insight on this, please feel free to share!  I'd love to learn more and hear from others that have experienced and/or witnessed something similar.  (Thanks in advance.)

There are so many more things I've learned recently but I'll close with this one because it weighs heavy on my heart this evening:  I will never tell anyone (whether with multiples or singletons and regardless of the age of their child(ren)) that things will get easier because it is a downright lie.  What I've learned is, that yes, things can/will get easier, but the truth is things get much harder too!  As kids get older, the things that we stress over and worry about for our kids change and become bigger.  It is a whole new set of problems and trials to overcome.  It goes from, "Is my child developing at a normal rate?" to "Will my child make friends?" to "Will my child be bullied?  Or are they the bully?"  to "Will my child be successful in school and what college will they go to?" and "Will my child become addicted to drugs/alcohol?" or "Will my child be easily influenced (whether positive or negative)?" -the list goes on...
Every age and stage will be a challenge.  I've learned that the best thing I can do is pray for, support, and encourage my mom friends regardless of where they are and what they are going through with their child(ren).  I can be a friend that listens, gives advice when needed, doesn't judge, and is ALWAYS honest.
It is not fair to tell someone that you know how they feel or what they might be going through when it comes to raising kids if you haven't been in their shoes and walked the same walk.  Parenting is hard.  It has its ups and downs and pretending everything is perfect and hunky dory behind closed doors is not fair to yourself or others.  Just like every kid is different  (What works for one, may not work for another), parenting styles, religious beliefs, discipline management, etc. make it hard to know "exactly" what one is going through but it is so important that we make connections with people.  I don't just mean through social media either.  I mean legitimate face to face support too.  We live in a day and age where it is okay to ask for help and seek others in your same life stage with similar walks and experiences.  Talk to parents that have older children that are in a new season of life.  Just like we are encouraged to seek advice from our church elders, seek the same from fellow parents. 
I've grown so weary of our society for many reasons, but lately too many babies are being neglected, abused, and killed by their parents.  Why are parents so afraid to reach out and admit when things are tough and get help when they feel like they are drowning?  If you or someone you know is struggling or has post partum depression (men can get it too!) ask for help.
Join groups that you feel safe sharing the realities of life with and I don't just mean when it comes to parenting, but life in general.  Going through a divorce?  Find a support group.  Addicted to drugs/alcohol? Find a support group.  Feeling depressed?  Find a support group.  In an abusive relationship?  Get help.  Find a support group. 
ALSO IMPORTANT:
Don't forget to celebrate the good things!  Encourage one another.  Pray for one another.  Celebrate one another.  Be kind to one another and build each other UP! 

Love and hugs to all of my readers!


Please feel free to "like, share, and comment" on my post. 

My new mom body...

Since having our twins seven months ago, I've accepted that my body will never be the same.  I sat on the couch contemplating this while sipping coffee one morning in a rare moment of quiet content play from my three kids.  I also noted to self that my husband hasn't once complained about my  new body, but complements me and looks at me more lovingly...and dare I say it, hungrier.  He is amazed at what I have done for our family by giving him three beautiful babies, and what I continue to do in raising them.  He feels honored to have me at home with the kids and feels like he is blessed more by the fact that I am making sacrifices to stay home with them and continue to nurse our twins.  It is such a blessing to have such a supportive husband.  I talk about the sacrifices he makes and how hard he works so that I can stay home.  I worry about our finances, and all the while, he is thanking me for what I do for our family.  I may not be the toned petite woman I was when we met, but I feel more loved and admired now than I ever have before. :)  So, on to the reason for this post...

Advantages to my new mom body:

I will never have to hear, "I could bounce a quarter off of your ass!" again when I go to a bar because the jiggly  mom butt has nothing on the soccer butt of my youth.

It's not only accepted but expected that I will need to do a three squat minimum exercise when squeezing into my skinny jeans. Laying in bed with coat hanger? A-okay for moms...don't worry, I had practice with this in my late teens and early twenties as I forced myself into Rocky Mountain jeans to go out dancing. I've got this!

The C-Section scar is a constant reminder of what my body has done.  I may not be able to rock a bikini ever again, but I feel more powerful now than ever before.

Due to the fact that I'm breast feeding, every few hours my boobs are the envy of my teenage self. I no longer have the desire to wear a padded push up bra that digs into my sides; and the cleavage looks more natural.

If I just jiggle my rump a bit in the club (should the opportunity arise to actually go to a club again), I look like a twerking professional! Miley has nothing on me!   Who doesn't love a good "I like big butts" rendition when out on the town?

My arms are stronger than they look thanks to carrying the twins around all of the time. Who needs a gym when you can curl babies in car seats?

When I originally thought about this, I had more...I've slept a little since then. I'll have to come back and add to my list as my memory comes back to me.  

Thanks for reading! 

~Hugs!