The Game Changing Words..."I Love You."

As I was updating my calendar this evening and making a list of things that I need to do tomorrow, May 3rd, I realized that in one month, it will be the 8th anniversary of the day my husband told me he was falling in love with me. We'd only been dating a month and a half at that point and he was very worried that he would scare me off.  In fact, that is how he started the conversation; voicing his concern over whether or not I'd feel things were moving too fast.  I remember the whole conversation as if it were yesterday. 

I was in Henderson, Texas with my best friend and her family awaiting the nuptials of her sister-in-law.  It also happened to be said BFF's birthday so celebrations were in full swing.  I went along to help watch her kids for the weekend so she and her husband could enjoy the festivities without having to worry about the littles and the kids wouldn't have to spend a lot of time at the church/reception.  We stayed in a guest home above a garage and while the kids were napping I answered "the phone call."  The one that would set things spinning in a new direction in our relationship as a couple.  I could tell with the tone of his voice that something was on his mind.  It was actually kind of cute to listen to him try to express himself and his feelings. I knew then that this was not something he did readily or with just anyone.  I also knew that he needed to do it in his own way so I didn't press him.  We talked about many things before he finally got brave enough to "spit it out."  He tentatively told me that he had fallen in love with me.  He didn't understand it yet, but he knew he missed me and couldn't stop thinking about me getting back home so he could see me.  He was overwhelmed by how often he thought of me.  Rest assured, I let him know that the feeling was mutual and he immediately relaxed.  His tone became more laid back and playful.  He could tell that I was not in fact going to run for the hills and block his number or move so he couldn't locate me. Ha! 

This conversation didn't end there though.  It was then that we had our very first "real" and "courageous" conversation.  Having already openly discussed our past relationships I wanted to make sure that he was 100% ready to move forward in our relationship and was committed to it.  It was then that I bravely asked him to go to his ex-wife to make sure nothing was still there.  He was speechless for a minute.  I actually thought the call was dropped and asked if he was still on the line.  He was surprised that I would encourage him to talk to her about me.  They had been apart for a long time and divorced for several years, but they have kids together and I did not want to get in the way of things if there was a chance that things could be mended.  I also knew that this woman would be a part of our lives and that it would be important to have an amicable relationship.  I didn't know a lot about her and hadn't met her yet in person.  I'd only received a voicemail from her after our first date which indicated to me that she was A) a determined detective to have gotten my cell phone number to leave said vm considering I'd only known him for three days, and B) still holding on to some hope and sure that I was wasting my time.  I didn't blame her then and don't now, because let's be honest, what woman doesn't hold on to a little hope that things will work out with an ex?  I didn't know what would come of our meeting or how we would handle different situations when it came to her children and what co-parenting would look like with their son who was still in school if he and I did decide to move forward in our relationship.  He agreed to talk to her if things continued to get serious with us and did within the month.  I still get two different stories of how that conversation went...but one thing was and is clear, there is NO hope that they will ever "work things out" or have an amicable relationship.   Shortly after this, I went out of the country for two weeks.  It was then that it was decided that we couldn't be without one another and after three and a half months of dating, he proposed (spoiler alert: I said yes!).

So I made it my mission to be the bigger person and make things work between his ex and us.  So far, I think I've earned a gold star.  I always did (and still do) everything I can to encourage a healthy relationship with his older kids.  I try to attend as much as possible with them.  We attended his eldest son's soccer games regularly and even had him live with us when he requested it without hesitation.  He probably still resents me for being the "involved parent" by contacting his teachers and staying on top of things but I don't regret it. I still hold on to hope that he'll realize I did so much for him out of love and come back to thank me one day.  I have had to endure a lot and have heard a lot of negative and more often than not, been the go-between.  I have taken the brunt of the hateful comments and derogatory remarks.  I've learned to ignore the dirty looks from "that side of the family" as if I am the cause of their divorce or the "evil step-mother" when we have occasions to get together with his now grown kids. But at the end of the day, I am still very much in love with my husband and through it all, we have gotten closer and grown so much.  We have been blessed in so many ways that all of that seems so small.  It is just a drop in the bucket compared to positive and wonderful things that have happened for us since that first "I love you."

We have gone through three rounds of fertility treatments, each with a different outcome.  We have three beautiful children that are the joy of my life.  We have overcome every obstacle and far surpassed anyone's prediction of how long we'd last.  I could blog pages and pages worth of the blessings and positive things that have happened for us over the past eight years.  We continue to fall in love with each other everyday.  My heart still flutters when he walks in the room. I anxiously wait for him to get home from work each day.  He constantly does things that remind me of why I fell in love with him in the first place.  He surprises me in new ways that make me fall deeper in love with him.  We have become each other's rock.  We rely on each other in so many ways and never hesitate to discuss things on our mind/hearts.  He is a doting dad and dedicated husband.  I am so glad he found the courage to tell me that he loves me on June 3, 2007. :) For the rest of forever my love...

Boys to Men

As I witnessed my oldest redirect his baby brother today, I realized that he is on his way to learning how to be a daddy one day.  Just last week, he was "playing house" at church and rocking a baby doll to sleep.  I am okay with this.  I think boys should play house, have an opportunity to be creative with a play kitchen, and have toy vacuum cleaners/brooms.  We will continue to foster his nurturing side so that he will be confident in his ability to be a great husband and to raise his own children one day.

We are responsible for turning two boys into men.  My  husband and I will be teaching them how to be great husbands and fathers.  My husband is a great example.  I am blessed to have a husband that shows affection generously and openly everyday, not only to me, but to our children.  He works hard and does everything he can to make sure we are able to live comfortably and want for nothing.  He also makes sure that we live within our means and never allows us to stretch ourselves too thin financially, emotionally, or psychologically.  He is our protector, provider, and cheerleader.  He is a devoted husband and caring father that is actively involved in our kids lives.  He is an excellent role model who shows them gentlemanly behavior daily.  He opens doors for me, carries the heavy bags of groceries in, and takes care of mundane household tasks like taking out the trash and mowing the lawn (chivalry is not dead ladies; lets not let it die out!).  Hubby also shares his love of cooking and takes our oldest grocery shopping regularly.  Our son knows that these tasks are not "just a woman's role." My husband prays with our oldest every night when he tucks him in.  This teaches him to fear God, to be thankful of every blessing, and to build a culture of prayer in the home. He leads by example. He is fostering the boys' love of building things and tearing things down, the use of tools, and exploration of all things nature (tonight, they watched ants eat a dead earthworm...).

We will teach all of our kids the importance of supporting each other, lifting each other up, praising others, forgiving others, and accepting differences.  They will learn that it is okay to make mistakes and to learn from them.  They will be encouraged to give 100% in everything they do and not back out of things they've committed to; not to give up when things get hard.  They will learn about integrity, honesty, and the meaning of being a true friend.  They will know how to express themselves in words, that showing emotion is okay, and that life can be hard but also wonderful. 

Our kids are learning how to be nurturing, forgiving, responsible, generous, and loving.  The use of good manners aren't just taught, but expected.  Nothing less will be tolerated.  We want them to be second nature and happen automatically.  Being thoughtful and considerate of others is so important in life.  They will be much more successful and respected.  I think encouraging them to be among the "good guys" and teaching them these values will ensure they will do the same for their own children.  It is a part of our parental legacy.   

Life Changer?

Complaining on Social Media changed my life! 
If you are reading this right now, you are probably asking yourself, "How can complaining be a good thing?"  Well, I made a post about my twins being ill, again.  Congestion was keeping them both from sleeping, which in turn, kept me from sleeping.  They seemed to go in shifts, so I got very little sleep between soothing babies and wanting to cry and pull my hair out simultaneously.  Several friends read my distress and reached out to me with the same question, "Have you ever considered using essential oils?"  My response was something along the lines of, "I'll try ANYTHING! Please help!"  They were all so patient with me.  One fellow twin mom whipped up some blends in roller bottles for me, another suggested investing in a diffuser.  My cousin mixed up some creams and bath products for me immediately.  These friends saved my life that week and I have never looked back.  I started experimenting with several oils and tried a few different blends.  I can honestly say that the use of any essential oils will have me celebrating you, as they are so much better than medicating our children with drugs! I have nothing bad to say about any brand but I will encourage anyone I talk to with medical/health concerns to try essential oils, as there is an oil for EVERYTHING.  I am leaning new ways to use my oils everyday.

I recently purchased the Premium Starter Kit from Young Living and am now officially obsessed.  I diffuse in the nursery nightly and during nap time.  The twins are sleeping 11-12 hours each night and nap like champions.  My husband attached a roller ball to Stress Away and keeps it on his desk at work.  He regularly uses Peppermint for headaches and I have made the Allergy Trio (Peppermint, Lavender, and Lemon) diluted with Grapeseed Oil for our four year old.  He is no longer taking daily allergy medicine.  Whoa!

Last week, Cameron got attacked by mosquitos while playing outside at his grandparent's house.  His face was so swollen that he was not recognizable.  I put some coconut oil and lavender in my hand and mixed it up in my palms then applied it to his face.  Check this out:

This week alone, I made a bath salt detox, bug spray, diaper cream, and massage lotion.  I already have a long wish list of oils that I'd like to try next!  It won't be long until our medicine cabinet is completely reinvented and is stocked only with oils and homemade remedies using our essential oils.  If you have any favorite recipes, feel free to share in the comments!  How do you use your Everyday Oils? 

Disclaimer: I just signed up to be a distributor for YL, but am not in it to make a million! This was not meant to be a sales pitch, but a testimony. I just want to share my experiences with others and encourage others to try oils with their families.  Plus, it will give me a chance to earn free oils and who doesn't love free? If you would like more information, I'd be happy to help.  I am learning more everyday and would like to help you discover what is best for your family as well.

You may also visit youngliving.com My member number is #2691535  Feel free to email me at carlylecassandra@gmail.com

The twins are ONE!!

We recently celebrated our twins' first birthday with family.  We went with what was probably the "obvious" boy/girl twin theme; Mickey and Minnie Mouse.  :)  The twins wore personalized onesies and I decorated the living room and their high chairs.  We did the traditional smash cake photo session and captured pictures of them doing what they do best, being themselves.  William was off in one direction, while Olivia was dancing to the beat of her own drum.  Here are a few photos from their photo session:

Did I blink?

Where has the time gone?  The twins will be one next month and we'll have a five year old the following month.  I can't believe how fast this year has gone.  We've had our ups and downs but I wouldn't trade it for the world.  We got through the "adjustment period" with our oldest when the twins came  home and now he is very protective and in love with them.  They LOVE playing with him and crawling after him and their giggles are contagious when doing so.  We've survived illnesses (hand/foot/mouth, strep throat, common colds (x6), and are currently teething.  I thought one child teething was rough...ha!  Two teething babies at once are a true test.  I successfully nursed the twins for ten months and they are self feeding more table foods each week.  William is a GOOD eater like his big brother and will be eating us out of house and home (I can't imagine their teenage years).  Olivia would rather be fed by spoon and doesn't like to get her hands dirty.  Both W & O are walking assisted with walking toys and "monkey walk" along the couch.  They stand unassisted and are getting stronger everyday.  Cameron cannot wait to have them chasing after him around the house.  He is very encouraging of them as they traipse across the living room floor with their push toy. 
I am currently planning their first birthday party (Mickey/Minnie theme) and look forward to their photo session and cake smash next weekend to kick off the celebrations.  Cameron is anxious to have his "Racecar" party in April and is excited to start school in the fall.  He is most excited about nap times becoming optional though. :)
Robert continues to work hard to provide for us and I am so appreciative of him and proud of his successes.  I never thought being a stay at home mom would be an option for me.  We are successfully living within our means and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
This is just a quick update on us, as it has been ages since I last posted.  I hope each of you reading this is doing well.  Love and well wishes for each of you! XO

My BF days will soon be over for ever...

My twins are gradually weaning themselves from breastfeeding and it is bitter sweet.  I am both excited and a little bit sad.  I can't wait to have my boobs back but I know I'll never breastfeed a baby again.  So yes, I'm torn, but I will focus on the POSITIVE!

Baby girl has shown more of a disinterest lately than baby boy.  She would much rather a bottle (whether expressed breast milk or formula) whereas he prefers the breast over bottles right now and rarely takes to or finished formula.  She nurses two times a day while he nurses three.  This is significantly less than in previous months.  Now that they are eating a lot more they aren't requiring as much mama milk and therefor I'm never engorged or uncomfortable anymore (yay!). I will miss the cuddle time and intimacy of it but will continue to bond with them regardless so I feel no guilt.  I have provided so much for them through my breast milk in these past ten months and have enough frozen to last several weeks.  I will make sure they continue to get nutrient rich foods and formulas have come a long way so I know they will continue to get what they need regardless of whether it is directly form me or not.

I will however miss the fact that I burn calories (500+ per day) so easily while nursing and have to pay more attention to my calorie intake (boo!).  Maybe that gym membership will finally get put to good use...

A few positive reasons to continue to allow the twins to wean on their own:

1. My boobs will belong to me again!  I might even go out and buy new bras to celebrate.  I'm so ready to toss the nursing bras for good (can you say "unattractive?").  New shirts might be in order too.

2.  The twins (me too) are sleeping through the night now because we are giving them formula each evening before bed.

3.  I can have a girl's night (or date night) and drink wine/beer without wondering how much it is effecting my mama milk.

4.  I won't get my nipples caught between the vice grips known as teeth!  OUCH!
(Sorry, I couldn't exclude that one!)

5.  Making bottles is so much more convenient because not only can I take formula/bottles with me on the go, but others can help feed the twins!

Here, there, and everywhere...

When we had our twins, it was like that "New Car Phenomenon" where you all of a sudden spot your exact car make/model EVERYWHERE you go.  Seriously, every time I've purchased a new car, as I leave the lot, I see the same car and almost always the same color every where I go.  When I bought my Honda Civic Coupe I didn't know anyone who owned one...or so I thought.  Same phenomenon with my current car, a Chevy Traverse.  I see them every single time I am out and about and usually the same color as mine.  Does anyone else experience this?

Since having our twins, we experience the same thing.  Every where we go, we see other sets of twins/multiples.  I'm not just talking about when I intentionally get together with other families from my parent's of Multiples support groups.  I took our kids to the zoo last month, and it seemed we ran into other sets of twins at every turn.  I go to the mall, twins are being chauffeured in various double strollers in every direction.  Every one seems to know someone who has twins, is a twin, or is a distant relative of twins.  You'd be surprised at how many of these stories I've been told by complete strangers.

Now, there are still occasions where we go into a store and are treated as celebrities.  The "Oohs" and "Ahhs" are a constant. The comments of how full my hands are and how blessed I am happen every time we leave the house.  THAT will never get old.  Who doesn't love to have people admire their precious babies? 

I will say on behalf of ALL parents of multiples that what DOES get old, is the inappropriate and nosey questions that some STRANGERS feel entitled to ask.  Excuse me, but who are you to ask me if I struggled with infertility?  Who are you to ask if my babies are "Clo-med" babies?  Whaaaa? And, YES, they are natural.  Aren't all babies?  My twins aren't made out of plastic and stuffed with cotton for crying out loud.  One more thing, who was the science teacher that has you asking if my BOY/GIRL twins are identical?  Hmmm....

Ask any parent of multiples about the things they've heard and I'm sure they can give you a list of no fewer than 10 bizarre things they have been asked/told/commented on in regards to their babies.  If you are one of these parents, I'd love to hear from you in the comments section of this post!