I'll start by saying that I am a "kick my shoes off as I walk in the door" kind of gal. My purse is set down anywhere there is an open spot on the floor, the table, or kitchen counter if that is what is convenient for me as I haul things into the house. Remember, I have three kids in tow.
I'm the queen of piles. It is not uncommon for piles to be moved around or "organized" by being placed into more piles. As I declutter, it gets worse before it gets better. In the end though, I'm pretty good about purging and organizing. I just need to figure out how to make it last. LOL! I love the saying, "My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it." I actually had a wooden sign hanging on my door with this quote in college. I have found that with three little ones running around and playing hard from dawn to dusk, it is even harder to keep things in order. I don't mind my "lived in look" but hubby has another opinion about it.
Hubby is an "Everything has a place, and there is a place for everything" kind of guy. Yea, so there are some struggles with all of the rearranging and organizing that is going on right now. We recently got a storage unit to move some of the "excess" out that isn't currently being used but will eventually as the twins get older. We also plan to put our current house on the market, as we have began to feel like we are outgrowing our current house. As I clear off shelves, go through my piles, and get rid of things we've outgrown or no longer have a need for, this house is starting to feel different. In my mind, I want that model home look with all toys and kid related items contained in bedrooms and/or the playroom. Let's get real though, the kids are like free range chickens and take their things and dump them wherever they want. Which means a trail of toys, blankets, sippy cups, and books follow them in every nook and cranny of our home. I'm okay with it, because at the end of the day, I'm the one gathering everything up and putting it all back in the playroom or wherever these things belong. However, it drives hubby nuts! So on of my new challenges is to train the kids to keep all toys and books in the playroom, all cups in the kitchen, and all blankets in the bedrooms. In the meantime, I'll frantically run around the house just before hubby gets home everyday and gather as much as I can and make the house look more "presentable" to Mr. Army. LOL! Wish me luck! XOXO
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Saturday, July 11, 2015
I am THAT mom at the pool...
News Flash: pregnancies (especially twin pregnancies) bring on stretch marks and C-Section scars are not sexy. Abs? What abs?
Okay, so earlier this week I posted on social media that I was not sure whether or not I'd let others judge me in a swim suit for a birthday pool party we've been invited to today. I had some very encouraging responses to that post. People telling me that I look great and should rock the suit without worry about what others think of my post pregnancy body. I had several (even my wonderful mom) point out that a size 2 has nothing to hide. Here is the thing, even size two women have things they would like to change about themselves. We too have things we are self conscious of. This may be a surprise to some, but I am very self conscious of how I look since having our twins. Having grown up playing soccer and then later coaching, I was always pretty fit, or at least in decent physical shape. The truth is, I haven't worked out since getting pregnant the first time in 2008 when our infertility journey started. I jiggle in places I never did before. I don't have the toned legs that got me attention in my teens or the butt that got recognized in a tight pair of jeans in my twenties. My boobs sag. I'm ghostly white. I still have freckles that I prayed would disappear by the time I hit my thirties. I will look sickly for lack of make-up (maybe I'll paint in my eyebrows and opt for waterproof mascara so as to not scare the other kids) due to my complexion and propensity to wear sun hats when I go outdoors. Never mind that I haven't invested in a new swimsuit since we had our oldest, who is now 5. Pardon the outdated but hardly worn suit if you happen to be in attendance.
I have decided that I WILL wear a swimsuit and participate in the fun with my kids today at the party. My husband and I will each take a twin in the pool while monitoring our five year old as he conquers his fear of swimming underwater.
I won't be the most confident woman by any means. I will still be self conscious. I will garner attention from others for things completely opposite of what got me attention prior to motherhood. You've been warned!
WARNING:
I look better with my clothes on.
I will be that mom at the pool with crazy tan lines from time spent outside with my kids to enjoy our sandbox and backyard or the splash pad in shorts and a t-shirt.
I will be that mom at the pool with a little jiggle in her steps.
I will be that mom at the pool who lathers herself and her kids in sunblock because our red hair and pale skin warrants the use of SPF 50, hats, and rash shirts.
I will be that mom at the pool that has jacked up toe nails because she hasn't had a pedicure in almost two years.
I will be that mom at the pool who is constantly adjusting her suit to make sure she is covered as much as possible. Things tend to pop out of place these days.
I will be that mom at the pool who is trying not to make eye contact for fear of the judgmental stares that are sure to be reflecting back at me.
I will be that mom at the pool who wraps a towel around herself as soon as she steps out of the pool in hopes that no one sees me then rushes in the house to the nearest bathroom to put my clothes back on. Because lets face it, I look better with my clothes on.
Okay, so earlier this week I posted on social media that I was not sure whether or not I'd let others judge me in a swim suit for a birthday pool party we've been invited to today. I had some very encouraging responses to that post. People telling me that I look great and should rock the suit without worry about what others think of my post pregnancy body. I had several (even my wonderful mom) point out that a size 2 has nothing to hide. Here is the thing, even size two women have things they would like to change about themselves. We too have things we are self conscious of. This may be a surprise to some, but I am very self conscious of how I look since having our twins. Having grown up playing soccer and then later coaching, I was always pretty fit, or at least in decent physical shape. The truth is, I haven't worked out since getting pregnant the first time in 2008 when our infertility journey started. I jiggle in places I never did before. I don't have the toned legs that got me attention in my teens or the butt that got recognized in a tight pair of jeans in my twenties. My boobs sag. I'm ghostly white. I still have freckles that I prayed would disappear by the time I hit my thirties. I will look sickly for lack of make-up (maybe I'll paint in my eyebrows and opt for waterproof mascara so as to not scare the other kids) due to my complexion and propensity to wear sun hats when I go outdoors. Never mind that I haven't invested in a new swimsuit since we had our oldest, who is now 5. Pardon the outdated but hardly worn suit if you happen to be in attendance.
I have decided that I WILL wear a swimsuit and participate in the fun with my kids today at the party. My husband and I will each take a twin in the pool while monitoring our five year old as he conquers his fear of swimming underwater.
I won't be the most confident woman by any means. I will still be self conscious. I will garner attention from others for things completely opposite of what got me attention prior to motherhood. You've been warned!
WARNING:
I look better with my clothes on.
I will be that mom at the pool with crazy tan lines from time spent outside with my kids to enjoy our sandbox and backyard or the splash pad in shorts and a t-shirt.
I will be that mom at the pool with a little jiggle in her steps.
I will be that mom at the pool who lathers herself and her kids in sunblock because our red hair and pale skin warrants the use of SPF 50, hats, and rash shirts.
I will be that mom at the pool that has jacked up toe nails because she hasn't had a pedicure in almost two years.
I will be that mom at the pool who is constantly adjusting her suit to make sure she is covered as much as possible. Things tend to pop out of place these days.
I will be that mom at the pool who is trying not to make eye contact for fear of the judgmental stares that are sure to be reflecting back at me.
I will be that mom at the pool who wraps a towel around herself as soon as she steps out of the pool in hopes that no one sees me then rushes in the house to the nearest bathroom to put my clothes back on. Because lets face it, I look better with my clothes on.
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Headbangers...and not to music
So my twins are self made head bangers. They both bang their heads on purpose. Sometimes out of frustration because they aren't getting their way, or to rhythmically sooth themselves. O bangs her head on the floor when she is annoyed by one of her brothers or over tired. W bangs his head on doors and walls when he wants someone or something on the other side of them. If we make a big deal out of it and repeatedly tell him, "No bonk-bonk," he does it repeatedly because he realizes he has our attention.
I heard that this isn't uncommon. I also heard that only about 20% of children do this. Somehow, even with those odds, I have TWO. I hope that once they become verbal, this will end. I pray that this is just a phase. They have both had bruises due to this habit. I promise you all they are self inflicted. I hope this isn't a sign of what their temper tantrums will be like in the future. Lord help us if this is minor in comparison of what is to come! Should I go ahead and invest in buckets or helmets now?
I heard that this isn't uncommon. I also heard that only about 20% of children do this. Somehow, even with those odds, I have TWO. I hope that once they become verbal, this will end. I pray that this is just a phase. They have both had bruises due to this habit. I promise you all they are self inflicted. I hope this isn't a sign of what their temper tantrums will be like in the future. Lord help us if this is minor in comparison of what is to come! Should I go ahead and invest in buckets or helmets now?
Nosy
So I have a very nosy child. My oldest wants to know everyone's business. He is constantly worried about what our neighbors are doing and where they are going. He also concerns him self with complete strangers. Sometimes I laugh it off. Sometimes I cringe. Sometimes I secretly appreciate that he asks questions I want to ask but don't because it is socially unacceptable...
In most cases, it is innocent. ("What are you doing?" "Where are you going?" "Who are you on the phone with?" "Are we there yet?" and "Are you going pee or poo?")
A lot of the time, it is because he is naturally inquisitive. ("Why is the sky blue?" type of questions.)
Sometimes, it can be inappropriate; read-asked loudly and in public for all to hear ("Why is that man fat?") or open up the doors to serious conversations ("Why is that girl bald?").
I do understand that he is curious. I know that I need to continue to have conversations with him about this while he is young so that it doesn't become a bad habit later causing him to snoop and eavesdrop so that he feels like he is always "in the know." Hubby and I are working on defining the boundaries that will prevent him from becoming a pest as he gets older in his desire to know what everyone is up to at any given time. This includes teaching him proper etiquette when trying to be included in a conversation, such as saying "excuse me" if he has something to say while we are talking, and waiting his turn to speak. We are teaching him that sometimes, people want to keep things private and he needs to accept that he doesn't need to know everything, especially if it does not pertain to him. He will be informed and "in the know" if it does in fact impact him in some way. He is learning that there are also consequences to being nosy and eavesdropping on people. He is learning to knock and wait for permission to enter our room if the door is closed.
Another thing that we are trying to teach him, is that sharing other people's business can be inappropriate too. This is SO hard. Teaching a five year old when it is okay to share the things he knows versus when it is not his information to share can be tricky. We want him to know that if someone is in danger, hurting themselves, etc. then he MUST share with us what he knows. If the "tattling" or sharing of other people's business is just meant to be hurtful to them or doesn't help in some way, then it isn't necessary and should be kept to himself.
He is very intuitive too. There have been times that my mom and I, or hubby and I are having a conversation and he seems to be in his own little world but he is in fact paying attention. He will chime in with his "two cents." Or repeat something we said hours or even days later. He seems to know when we are having serious conversations and pretends to be preoccupied when he is in fact paying very close attention. We are more cautious now about what we discuss in his presence. Serious matters are discussed behind closed doors (thus the need to teach him to knock and wait for permission to enter our room).
I don't want to discourage him from asking the right kind of questions and learning new things. He is a child who needs answers. He wants to know more about things. I love to see him light up when he discovers things through inferencing /questioning and his natural ability to use higher level thinking. I am working on finding that balance. Ask questions about the world around you, but not so many about the people... LOL! The struggle is real you guys! What do you do when/if your child asks too many questions about others?
In most cases, it is innocent. ("What are you doing?" "Where are you going?" "Who are you on the phone with?" "Are we there yet?" and "Are you going pee or poo?")
A lot of the time, it is because he is naturally inquisitive. ("Why is the sky blue?" type of questions.)
Sometimes, it can be inappropriate; read-asked loudly and in public for all to hear ("Why is that man fat?") or open up the doors to serious conversations ("Why is that girl bald?").
I do understand that he is curious. I know that I need to continue to have conversations with him about this while he is young so that it doesn't become a bad habit later causing him to snoop and eavesdrop so that he feels like he is always "in the know." Hubby and I are working on defining the boundaries that will prevent him from becoming a pest as he gets older in his desire to know what everyone is up to at any given time. This includes teaching him proper etiquette when trying to be included in a conversation, such as saying "excuse me" if he has something to say while we are talking, and waiting his turn to speak. We are teaching him that sometimes, people want to keep things private and he needs to accept that he doesn't need to know everything, especially if it does not pertain to him. He will be informed and "in the know" if it does in fact impact him in some way. He is learning that there are also consequences to being nosy and eavesdropping on people. He is learning to knock and wait for permission to enter our room if the door is closed.
Another thing that we are trying to teach him, is that sharing other people's business can be inappropriate too. This is SO hard. Teaching a five year old when it is okay to share the things he knows versus when it is not his information to share can be tricky. We want him to know that if someone is in danger, hurting themselves, etc. then he MUST share with us what he knows. If the "tattling" or sharing of other people's business is just meant to be hurtful to them or doesn't help in some way, then it isn't necessary and should be kept to himself.
He is very intuitive too. There have been times that my mom and I, or hubby and I are having a conversation and he seems to be in his own little world but he is in fact paying attention. He will chime in with his "two cents." Or repeat something we said hours or even days later. He seems to know when we are having serious conversations and pretends to be preoccupied when he is in fact paying very close attention. We are more cautious now about what we discuss in his presence. Serious matters are discussed behind closed doors (thus the need to teach him to knock and wait for permission to enter our room).
I don't want to discourage him from asking the right kind of questions and learning new things. He is a child who needs answers. He wants to know more about things. I love to see him light up when he discovers things through inferencing /questioning and his natural ability to use higher level thinking. I am working on finding that balance. Ask questions about the world around you, but not so many about the people... LOL! The struggle is real you guys! What do you do when/if your child asks too many questions about others?
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Summer 2015 Bucket List
We have the honor of having our kid's second cousin several days per week this summer. I decided to make sure boredom won't ensue for the older boys by creating a "Bucket List" with them (3C is 5, D is 7).
In addition to these activities on the list, we will go to the library every other week and work on reading and math skills (being a teacher, it can't be avoided under my roof! Sorry boys! LOL!).
The boy's started the summer with a "Game Day." Up next, the Train Park and a picnic. Stay tuned for our "Camp Carlyle" adventures! We will color in the boxes as we check things off of the list...
We will spend a lot of time in the backyard and the boys love playing Legos and creating their own games and activities with 3C's toys. They play very well together and my heart is happy to see the boys getting a chance to grow up together and be great friends. Having a chance to grow up with and have a close relationship with your cousins is so important.
The boy's started the summer with a "Game Day." Up next, the Train Park and a picnic. Stay tuned for our "Camp Carlyle" adventures! We will color in the boxes as we check things off of the list...
We will spend a lot of time in the backyard and the boys love playing Legos and creating their own games and activities with 3C's toys. They play very well together and my heart is happy to see the boys getting a chance to grow up together and be great friends. Having a chance to grow up with and have a close relationship with your cousins is so important.
Friday, June 12, 2015
Beach Fun!
Grammy and I braved the beach with the twins and big brother this week. We weren't sure how the twins would react to the endless sand and sea. Big brother was excited for days and asked relentlessly the whole drive down to Surfside Beach (every ten minutes), "Are we there yet?" Sister doesn't do well in the car and whined and cried most of the way. Little brother slept, as he usually does in the car, almost the entire hour and a half drive.
Once we arrived, we unloaded the car-wagon, multiple towels, sand toys, coolers, etc. and got everyone changed at our friend's beach house. We are so grateful for this invite for a day at the beach with other families of multiples. I believe there were five sets of twins and a set of triplets; I stopped counting mid day. Once everyone was changed and lotioned up, we made our way across the footbridge to the beach.
The first thing little brother did when set down was grab a fistful of sand and eat it! LOL! He continued to eat sand throughout the day in spite of our "No! No!s" He had gritty poop for a couple days.
Sister on the other hand was content to just walk around and feel the sand between her toes.
Big brother didn't hesitate for a minute and ran full speed into the Gulf! He didn't get out until it was time to head back to the beach house for lunch. He worked up quite an appetite jumping waves, running around, and looking for seashells.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
The Game Changing Words..."I Love You."
As I was updating my calendar this evening and making a list of things that I need to do tomorrow, May 3rd, I realized that in one month, it will be the 8th anniversary of the day my husband told me he was falling in love with me. We'd only been dating a month and a half at that point and he was very worried that he would scare me off. In fact, that is how he started the conversation; voicing his concern over whether or not I'd feel things were moving too fast. I remember the whole conversation as if it were yesterday.
I was in Henderson, Texas with my best friend and her family awaiting the nuptials of her sister-in-law. It also happened to be said BFF's birthday so celebrations were in full swing. I went along to help watch her kids for the weekend so she and her husband could enjoy the festivities without having to worry about the littles and the kids wouldn't have to spend a lot of time at the church/reception. We stayed in a guest home above a garage and while the kids were napping I answered "the phone call." The one that would set things spinning in a new direction in our relationship as a couple. I could tell with the tone of his voice that something was on his mind. It was actually kind of cute to listen to him try to express himself and his feelings. I knew then that this was not something he did readily or with just anyone. I also knew that he needed to do it in his own way so I didn't press him. We talked about many things before he finally got brave enough to "spit it out." He tentatively told me that he had fallen in love with me. He didn't understand it yet, but he knew he missed me and couldn't stop thinking about me getting back home so he could see me. He was overwhelmed by how often he thought of me. Rest assured, I let him know that the feeling was mutual and he immediately relaxed. His tone became more laid back and playful. He could tell that I was not in fact going to run for the hills and block his number or move so he couldn't locate me. Ha!
This conversation didn't end there though. It was then that we had our very first "real" and "courageous" conversation. Having already openly discussed our past relationships I wanted to make sure that he was 100% ready to move forward in our relationship and was committed to it. It was then that I bravely asked him to go to his ex-wife to make sure nothing was still there. He was speechless for a minute. I actually thought the call was dropped and asked if he was still on the line. He was surprised that I would encourage him to talk to her about me. They had been apart for a long time and divorced for several years, but they have kids together and I did not want to get in the way of things if there was a chance that things could be mended. I also knew that this woman would be a part of our lives and that it would be important to have an amicable relationship. I didn't know a lot about her and hadn't met her yet in person. I'd only received a voicemail from her after our first date which indicated to me that she was A) a determined detective to have gotten my cell phone number to leave said vm considering I'd only known him for three days, and B) still holding on to some hope and sure that I was wasting my time. I didn't blame her then and don't now, because let's be honest, what woman doesn't hold on to a little hope that things will work out with an ex? I didn't know what would come of our meeting or how we would handle different situations when it came to her children and what co-parenting would look like with their son who was still in school if he and I did decide to move forward in our relationship. He agreed to talk to her if things continued to get serious with us and did within the month. I still get two different stories of how that conversation went...but one thing was and is clear, there is NO hope that they will ever "work things out" or have an amicable relationship. Shortly after this, I went out of the country for two weeks. It was then that it was decided that we couldn't be without one another and after three and a half months of dating, he proposed (spoiler alert: I said yes!).
So I made it my mission to be the bigger person and make things work between his ex and us. So far, I think I've earned a gold star. I always did (and still do) everything I can to encourage a healthy relationship with his older kids. I try to attend as much as possible with them. We attended his eldest son's soccer games regularly and even had him live with us when he requested it without hesitation. He probably still resents me for being the "involved parent" by contacting his teachers and staying on top of things but I don't regret it. I still hold on to hope that he'll realize I did so much for him out of love and come back to thank me one day. I have had to endure a lot and have heard a lot of negative and more often than not, been the go-between. I have taken the brunt of the hateful comments and derogatory remarks. I've learned to ignore the dirty looks from "that side of the family" as if I am the cause of their divorce or the "evil step-mother" when we have occasions to get together with his now grown kids. But at the end of the day, I am still very much in love with my husband and through it all, we have gotten closer and grown so much. We have been blessed in so many ways that all of that seems so small. It is just a drop in the bucket compared to positive and wonderful things that have happened for us since that first "I love you."
We have gone through three rounds of fertility treatments, each with a different outcome. We have three beautiful children that are the joy of my life. We have overcome every obstacle and far surpassed anyone's prediction of how long we'd last. I could blog pages and pages worth of the blessings and positive things that have happened for us over the past eight years. We continue to fall in love with each other everyday. My heart still flutters when he walks in the room. I anxiously wait for him to get home from work each day. He constantly does things that remind me of why I fell in love with him in the first place. He surprises me in new ways that make me fall deeper in love with him. We have become each other's rock. We rely on each other in so many ways and never hesitate to discuss things on our mind/hearts. He is a doting dad and dedicated husband. I am so glad he found the courage to tell me that he loves me on June 3, 2007. :) For the rest of forever my love...
I was in Henderson, Texas with my best friend and her family awaiting the nuptials of her sister-in-law. It also happened to be said BFF's birthday so celebrations were in full swing. I went along to help watch her kids for the weekend so she and her husband could enjoy the festivities without having to worry about the littles and the kids wouldn't have to spend a lot of time at the church/reception. We stayed in a guest home above a garage and while the kids were napping I answered "the phone call." The one that would set things spinning in a new direction in our relationship as a couple. I could tell with the tone of his voice that something was on his mind. It was actually kind of cute to listen to him try to express himself and his feelings. I knew then that this was not something he did readily or with just anyone. I also knew that he needed to do it in his own way so I didn't press him. We talked about many things before he finally got brave enough to "spit it out." He tentatively told me that he had fallen in love with me. He didn't understand it yet, but he knew he missed me and couldn't stop thinking about me getting back home so he could see me. He was overwhelmed by how often he thought of me. Rest assured, I let him know that the feeling was mutual and he immediately relaxed. His tone became more laid back and playful. He could tell that I was not in fact going to run for the hills and block his number or move so he couldn't locate me. Ha!
This conversation didn't end there though. It was then that we had our very first "real" and "courageous" conversation. Having already openly discussed our past relationships I wanted to make sure that he was 100% ready to move forward in our relationship and was committed to it. It was then that I bravely asked him to go to his ex-wife to make sure nothing was still there. He was speechless for a minute. I actually thought the call was dropped and asked if he was still on the line. He was surprised that I would encourage him to talk to her about me. They had been apart for a long time and divorced for several years, but they have kids together and I did not want to get in the way of things if there was a chance that things could be mended. I also knew that this woman would be a part of our lives and that it would be important to have an amicable relationship. I didn't know a lot about her and hadn't met her yet in person. I'd only received a voicemail from her after our first date which indicated to me that she was A) a determined detective to have gotten my cell phone number to leave said vm considering I'd only known him for three days, and B) still holding on to some hope and sure that I was wasting my time. I didn't blame her then and don't now, because let's be honest, what woman doesn't hold on to a little hope that things will work out with an ex? I didn't know what would come of our meeting or how we would handle different situations when it came to her children and what co-parenting would look like with their son who was still in school if he and I did decide to move forward in our relationship. He agreed to talk to her if things continued to get serious with us and did within the month. I still get two different stories of how that conversation went...but one thing was and is clear, there is NO hope that they will ever "work things out" or have an amicable relationship. Shortly after this, I went out of the country for two weeks. It was then that it was decided that we couldn't be without one another and after three and a half months of dating, he proposed (spoiler alert: I said yes!).
So I made it my mission to be the bigger person and make things work between his ex and us. So far, I think I've earned a gold star. I always did (and still do) everything I can to encourage a healthy relationship with his older kids. I try to attend as much as possible with them. We attended his eldest son's soccer games regularly and even had him live with us when he requested it without hesitation. He probably still resents me for being the "involved parent" by contacting his teachers and staying on top of things but I don't regret it. I still hold on to hope that he'll realize I did so much for him out of love and come back to thank me one day. I have had to endure a lot and have heard a lot of negative and more often than not, been the go-between. I have taken the brunt of the hateful comments and derogatory remarks. I've learned to ignore the dirty looks from "that side of the family" as if I am the cause of their divorce or the "evil step-mother" when we have occasions to get together with his now grown kids. But at the end of the day, I am still very much in love with my husband and through it all, we have gotten closer and grown so much. We have been blessed in so many ways that all of that seems so small. It is just a drop in the bucket compared to positive and wonderful things that have happened for us since that first "I love you."
We have gone through three rounds of fertility treatments, each with a different outcome. We have three beautiful children that are the joy of my life. We have overcome every obstacle and far surpassed anyone's prediction of how long we'd last. I could blog pages and pages worth of the blessings and positive things that have happened for us over the past eight years. We continue to fall in love with each other everyday. My heart still flutters when he walks in the room. I anxiously wait for him to get home from work each day. He constantly does things that remind me of why I fell in love with him in the first place. He surprises me in new ways that make me fall deeper in love with him. We have become each other's rock. We rely on each other in so many ways and never hesitate to discuss things on our mind/hearts. He is a doting dad and dedicated husband. I am so glad he found the courage to tell me that he loves me on June 3, 2007. :) For the rest of forever my love...
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