Sibling rivalry? We hope not!

We began preparing our oldest son, Cameron to be a big brother as soon as our pregnancy was confirmed.  I wanted him to have plenty of time to adjust to having a baby in the home and we wanted to make sure he knew what to expect.  When we found out we were getting two for the price of one, it became even more important to let him know as best we could how our lives would change.

We didn't want him to feel like he was being replaced in any way.  We made every effort to let him know that even though he was getting promoted to big brother status he was just as important to us.  We made an extra effort to play with him each evening, spent more time doing things he enjoys, such as reading books, playing board games, and playing ball outside.  Constantly talking to him about what a great big brother and helper he would be helped build his confidence and let him know he was an important part of our family with a "big job" to do.

Keeping him involved in decisions was a great way to get him excited.  He helped with the nursery and even helped us pick out things such as clothes and decorations for the babies once we knew gender.  Cameron got to go to our 16 week ultrasound.   He loved being able to "see" his siblings and I wanted him to be with us when we found out gender.  He was disappointed that he was getting both, a brother and a sister and even cried when Olivia finally (after about 10 minutes) revealed herself.  I was reminded by him for the next 20 weeks that he still wanted two brothers and that he'd take care of William while mommy took care of Olivia.  He has since decided that he loves both babies. :)

We did consider "Sibling" classes that are provided by the hospital but opted not to attend in the end.  If this is something your family would benefit from, I do recommend it, as I have heard great things about these classes.

We constantly talk to him about how to take care of and help out with the babies.  One thing we continue to work on is noise level.  Going from an only child household to one that at every minute of the day has at least one sleeping baby is tough for a three year old!

He does get his feelings hurt when mommy and daddy (and grammy or others during the week) can't just stop what we are doing to go play with him.  This is why we still take him to day care a few days a week.  It gives him a chance to interact with friends and allows us to take care of babies and not feel guilty when we can't equally share our attention with him.  I know as the twins get older, it will be easier, but until then, we remind him regularly that we love him, offer lots of hugs and kisses, and give him "chores" to help out (he balks at taking diapers to the trash can but loves retrieving pacifiers).  We make an effort to keep as close to a bedtime routine as we can (bath, books, bed).  He still attends his swim lessons regularly and daddy takes him to his friends birthday parties and school events.  I still make time to cuddle and love on my big boy (his love languages are quality time and touch) as we enjoy his daytime shows or play games on the ipad.  Grammy takes him to the park or play place at the mall when she can.  Cousin Bekki has play dates with him.  Nana plays board games with him.  Its a team effort for sure.  Ten minutes of undivided attention makes a huge difference in his behavior and outbursts are at a minimum on days where he gets that quality time that he is used to and craves so much.

It has been hard for him to accept that he didn't get instant playmates.  He looks forward to them becoming mobile, talking, and chasing after him.  Until then, we will continue to adjust to our new blessings as a family unit.  We will have hurdles.  We will have trying times.  Some days will be better than others.  As long as all of our kids know how important they are and how much they are loved, we will be okay.