Team Work

Twins are great at working together.  I have witnessed our twins work together several times in the past few weeks and I think it is great, however, it translates to "double trouble" most of the time.  For example, getting into the bathroom, opening the toilet lid and playing in the water, trouble.  Finding the tupperware and pots/pans cabinet and pulling everything out of it, trouble.  Discovering big brother's crayons and testing them out in the playroom, trouble.  Boosting one another up to reach the T.V., trouble.  It can be sweet too though.  William likes to help Olivia get up into the recliner by giving her a boost and pushing her little booty as she climbs up.  Today, William opened the pantry and got out the raisins.  Olivia helped him pry it open and they helped themselves to a little snack.  This is much cuter than finding the Cheerios all over the kitchen because the box has been dumped upside down.  So there's that.  I actually look forward to seeing what they will try next (I know, I'll be eating my words one day soon!) and how they will discover and problem solve together.

Kindergarten, here we come!

My oldest starts kindergarten in two days.  I have mixed feelings about it.  I have been frantically running around checking things off of the school supply list, purchasing school uniforms, pinning "lunch ideas" for his daily lunches, filling in the family calendar with event and PTO dates, and wondering if he'll be okay without me!  Of course he will be...right?


Will he be able to make it to the restroom in time?  Will he be able to get his belt undone and refastened without incident (we've been practicing, but is it enough?)? Will he be too shy to talk to his teacher?  Will he make friends right away?  Will he be brave enough to stand up for what is right when others are not making good choices?  Will he be negatively influenced by his peers?  Will he remember to use good manners and be kind?  Will he work hard?  Will he be challenged or bored?  Will he miss me as much as I will be missing him each day?  Will he be okay? Oh, the struggle is real!


He is excited about making new friends but anxious about the unknown.  He is excited one minute about the idea of school and nervous about leaving me each day and beging me to homeschool him the next. 
He doesn't do well with goodbyes.  My fear is that he will cling to me and not want to let go and walk in like a big boy on that first day.  I can envision the scene. It isn't pretty.  I can only hope that after seeing that a friend from his preschool days is in his class that he will be okay with "letting go."  His teacher is sweet.  Soft spoken and gentle but a teacher we can trust will take care of him and help shape him.  She will continue to encourage his curiosity and foster his love of learning.  He was enthusiastic about school starting when we left the "Meet the Teacher" event this evening.  I know the anxious feelings and doubts will return tomorrow evening as we lay out his clothes and get his backpack ready for the big day.  I will be prayerful that things go well and we don't have any emotional fits on Wednesday morning...from either of us! He is going to do great things and touch many lives.  As his mom, I have to share him with the world so that others may experience the pure joy that I do while in his presence.  He WILL be fine.  I will be fine. Well, maybe in a few days. :)


His "First Day of Kindergarten" sign is ready to go.  My camera will be on hand.  Social media will be inundated with posts about my baby's first day of kindergarten, as I will proudly post his picture for all to see.  I will fill out the many forms that will be sent home on the first day, I will gladly volunteer to help out as much as possible, and I will try really hard to hold back my tears until he is out of sight, because let's face it, there will be tears. 


In the meantime, I will continue to lift him, his teacher, and the school staff up in prayer as they get ready for a great school year. 

Heavenly Father,
As our children go out to face the world, please bless and protect them. May they know and trust that even when they are away from their parents that you, their Heavenly Father is always with them. Whether our children are just starting kindergarten, entering high school, or leaving the nest for college, our hearts and hopes go with them. They are excited about all of the new possibilities, yet at the same time apprehension and the fear of the unknown may weigh heavily on their hearts. Strengthen them by filling them with your love and giving them the confidence to face each challenge with inquisitive minds and discerning hearts. May they persevere through every obstacle that they face, knowing that we must learn from our failures so that we may grow in both knowledge and faith. Bless our children with lives filled with happiness and laughter, and may they be joyful in all things. Surround them with friends, teachers and adults that will lovingly stay by their side, build them up when they are weak, and hold them accountable when they wander from your ways. For we all know, that through you all things are possible. You are our Savior and protector, you fill our lives with blessings and you have an amazing plan for each and every one of your children.

In your name we pray, Amen.
(Prayer written by Lisa Russell; sweet friend and teacher)

Black and White

When I was in kindergarten, I came home the first week of school and told my mom that I had a best friend in my class.  I told her the friend's name and she asked which one she was so she could meet her  and we could invite her over for playdates (my mom worked at the school I went to and was familiar with the kids).  I described her as "the one with braids."  I spoke of the way we played together at recess and sat together at lunch.  I described the kind of person she was and I never once mentioned skin color.  My mom put two and two together and to this day comments on how heart warming it was to her that I didn't see her as the "black girl," but as my best friend.  Racism and prejudice is taught folks. 
This past week, I shared a post from a woman who's white daughter carries around a black baby doll.  I shared it because I was appalled at the ignorance of people she encountered while out with her daughter at the store from another white person.  This person couldn't believe that she'd allow her daughter to have a doll with a different skin color than her own.  My own daughter plays with several dolls of many colors in her nursery school class and I love it.  When she has the opportunity to pick out her own baby doll, I'm not going to care what the doll looks like but I will teach her to take care of it and love it.  I will nurture her love of babies, regardless of color.
 I LOVE that as children, color is not what defines a person or how they are treated.  I don't want my children to see skin color, I want them to see people.  To love unconditionally the people they encounter.  To look for the good in others and not make assumptions about someone based on appearance.  Adults influence children.  Stop trying so hard to teach racism and start focusing on teaching acceptance and Godly love.  This world we live in is ugly enough.  I can't even watch the news anymore without crying at the stories of hate, murder, abandonment, neglect, etc. 
Train UP your children and stop trying to bring everyone else down.  Pray for them relentlessly.  Pray that they treat others with kindness and love, that they are considerate and respectful of others.  Pray that they have compassion and guide them so that they may find the good in people.  Don't teach them to generalize or condemn a group/race based on the actions of a few.  Be a good example.

Our oldest starts Kindergarten in a couple weeks and I worry that he will be influenced by others in a negative way as he gets older.  I also know that by continually loving on him and having conversations about how we treat others, I can help foster his innocence and unconditional love for everyone.  "Treat others the way you want to be treated."  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." 

So, I married an Army Man...

I'll start by saying that I am a "kick my shoes off as I walk in the door" kind of gal.  My purse is set down anywhere there is an open spot on the floor, the table, or kitchen counter if that is what is convenient for me as I haul things into the house.  Remember, I have three kids in tow.
I'm the queen of piles.  It is not uncommon for piles to be moved around or "organized" by being placed into more piles.  As I declutter, it gets worse before it gets better.  In the end though, I'm pretty good about purging and organizing.  I just need to figure out how to make it last. LOL! I love the saying, "My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it."  I actually had a wooden sign hanging on my door with this quote in college.  I have found that with three little ones running around and playing hard from dawn to dusk, it is even harder to keep things in order.  I don't mind my "lived in look" but hubby has another opinion about it.
Hubby is an "Everything has a place, and there is a place for everything" kind of guy.  Yea, so there are some struggles with all of the rearranging and organizing that is going on right now.  We recently got a storage unit to move some of the "excess" out that isn't currently being used but will eventually as the twins get older.  We also plan to put our current house on the market, as we have began to feel like we are outgrowing our current house.  As I clear off shelves, go through my piles, and get rid of things we've outgrown or no longer have a need for, this house is starting to feel different.  In my mind, I want that model home look with all toys and kid related items contained in bedrooms and/or the playroom.  Let's get real though, the kids are like free range chickens and take their things and dump them wherever they want.  Which means a trail of toys, blankets, sippy cups, and books follow them in every nook and cranny of our home.  I'm okay with it, because at the end of the day, I'm the one gathering everything up and putting it all back in the playroom or wherever these things belong.  However, it drives hubby nuts!  So on of my new challenges is to train the kids to keep all toys and books in the playroom, all cups in the kitchen, and all blankets in the bedrooms.  In the meantime, I'll frantically run around the house just before hubby gets home everyday and gather as much as I can and make the house look more "presentable" to Mr. Army. LOL!  Wish me luck! XOXO

I am THAT mom at the pool...

News Flash:  pregnancies (especially twin pregnancies) bring on stretch marks and C-Section scars are not sexy.  Abs?  What abs?

Okay, so earlier this week I posted on social media that I was not sure whether or not I'd let others judge me in a swim suit for a birthday pool party we've been invited to today.  I had some very encouraging responses to that post.  People telling me that I look great and should rock the suit without worry about what others think of my post pregnancy body.  I had several (even my wonderful mom) point out that a size 2 has nothing to hide.  Here is the thing, even size two women have things they would like to change about themselves.  We too have things we are self conscious of.  This may be a surprise to some, but I am very self conscious of how I look since having our twins. Having grown up playing soccer and then later coaching, I was always pretty fit, or at least in decent physical shape.  The truth is, I haven't worked out since getting pregnant the first time in 2008 when our infertility journey started.  I jiggle in places I never did before.  I don't have the toned legs that got me attention in my teens or the butt that got recognized in a tight pair of jeans in my twenties. My boobs sag.  I'm ghostly white. I still have freckles that I prayed would disappear by the time I hit my thirties.  I will look sickly for lack of make-up (maybe I'll paint in my eyebrows and opt for waterproof mascara so as to not scare the other kids) due to my complexion and propensity to wear sun hats when I go outdoors.  Never mind that I haven't invested in a new swimsuit since we had our oldest, who is now 5.  Pardon the outdated but hardly worn suit if you happen to be in attendance.

I have decided that I WILL wear a swimsuit and participate in the fun with my kids today at the party.  My husband and I will each take a twin in the pool while monitoring our five year old as he conquers his fear of swimming underwater. 

I won't be the most confident woman by any means.  I will still be self conscious.  I will garner attention from others for things completely opposite of what got me attention prior to motherhood.  You've been warned!

WARNING:

I look better with my clothes on.

I will be that mom at the pool with crazy tan lines from time spent outside with my  kids to enjoy our sandbox and backyard or the splash pad in shorts and a t-shirt.

I will be that mom at the pool with a little jiggle in her steps.

I will be that mom at the pool who lathers herself and her kids in sunblock because our red hair and pale skin warrants the use of SPF 50, hats, and rash shirts.

I will be that mom at the pool that has jacked up toe nails because she hasn't had a pedicure in almost two years.

I will be that mom at the pool who is constantly adjusting her suit to make sure she is covered as much as possible.  Things tend to pop out of place these days.

I will be that mom at the pool who is trying not to make eye contact for fear of the judgmental stares that are sure to be reflecting back at me.

I will be that mom at the pool who wraps a towel around herself as soon as she steps out of the pool in hopes that no one sees me then rushes in the house to the nearest bathroom to put my clothes back on.  Because lets face it, I look better with my clothes on.

Headbangers...and not to music

So my twins are self made head bangers.  They both bang their heads on purpose.  Sometimes out of frustration because they aren't getting their way, or to rhythmically sooth themselves. O bangs her head on the floor when she is annoyed by one of her brothers or over tired.  W bangs his head on doors and walls when he wants someone or something on the other side of them. If we make a big deal out of it and repeatedly tell him, "No bonk-bonk," he does it repeatedly because he realizes he has our attention. 

I heard that this isn't uncommon.  I also heard that only about 20% of children do this.  Somehow, even with those odds, I have TWO.  I hope that once they become verbal, this will end.  I pray that this is just a phase.  They have both had bruises due to this habit.  I promise you all they are self inflicted.  I hope this isn't a sign of what their temper tantrums will be like in the future.  Lord help us if this is minor in comparison of what is to come!  Should I go ahead and invest in buckets or helmets now?

Nosy

So I have a very nosy child.  My oldest wants to know everyone's business.  He is constantly worried about what our  neighbors are doing and where they are going.  He also concerns him self with complete strangers.  Sometimes I laugh it off.  Sometimes I cringe.  Sometimes I secretly appreciate that he asks questions I want to ask but don't because it is socially unacceptable...

In most cases, it is innocent. ("What are you doing?"  "Where are you going?"  "Who are you on the phone with?" "Are we there yet?" and "Are you going pee or poo?")

A lot of the time, it is because he is naturally inquisitive.  ("Why is the sky blue?" type of questions.)

Sometimes, it can be inappropriate; read-asked loudly and in public for all to hear ("Why is that man fat?") or open up the doors to serious conversations ("Why is that girl bald?").

I do understand that he is curious.  I know that I need to continue to have conversations with him about this while he is young so that it doesn't become a bad habit later causing him to snoop and eavesdrop so that he feels like he is always "in the know."  Hubby and I are working on defining the boundaries that will prevent him from becoming a pest as he gets older in his desire to know what everyone is up to at any given time.  This includes teaching him proper etiquette when trying to be included in a conversation, such as saying "excuse me" if he has something to say while we are talking, and waiting his turn to speak.  We are teaching him that sometimes, people want to keep things private and he needs to accept that he doesn't need to know everything, especially if it does not pertain to him.  He will be informed and "in the know" if it does in fact impact him in some way.  He is learning that there are also consequences to being nosy and eavesdropping on people.  He is learning to knock and wait for permission to enter our room if the door is closed. 

Another thing that we are trying to teach him, is that sharing other people's business can be inappropriate too.  This is SO hard.  Teaching a five year old when it is okay to share the things he knows versus when it is not his information to share can be tricky.  We want him to know that if someone is in danger, hurting themselves, etc. then he MUST share with us what he knows.  If the "tattling" or sharing of other people's business is just meant to be hurtful to them or doesn't help in some way, then it isn't necessary and should be kept to himself.

He is very intuitive too.  There have been times that my mom and I, or hubby and I are having a conversation and he seems to be in his own little world but he is in fact paying attention.  He will chime in with his "two cents." Or repeat something we said hours or even days later.  He seems to know when we are having serious conversations and pretends to be preoccupied when he is in fact paying very close attention.  We are more cautious now about what we discuss in his presence. Serious matters are discussed behind closed doors (thus the need to teach him to knock and wait for permission to enter our room).

I don't want to discourage him from asking the right kind of questions and learning new things.  He is a child who needs answers. He wants to know more about things.  I love to see him light up when he discovers things through inferencing /questioning and his natural ability to use higher level thinking. I am working on finding that balance.  Ask questions about the world around you, but not so many about the people... LOL!  The struggle is real you guys!  What do you do when/if your child asks too many questions about others?